Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, these messages have become increasingly common. While this trend has both positive and negative aspects. Although certain adverse ramifications associated with this development cannot be entirely overlooked, it is widely maintained that its advantages substantially outweigh its disadvantages.

To commence with, the compelling advantage of this message is that it motivates a young generation. Elderly people encourage their children because it leads them to accomplish their goals. Although it not only promotes their inner capability but also proliferates their vision. This makes them concentrate more on their targets. For example, young-generation parents have a strong belief in their children's ability, and they want their children to achieve more success as compared to other individuals. Hence, pushing adolescents by praising them that they can accomplish anything if they try hard enough will make them work harder and focus in the right direction.

On the other hand, sometimes greater motivation will make a people lose their interest. When they are highly encouraged, it makes them feel that they can obtain anything because they can do it easily. This directly makes them sluggish due to high motivation, which is given by their communities. Furthermore, unfulfilling their tasks will dishearten them, and in the future, they will concentrate less because of failure. For instance, in academic institutes, teachers mostly praise their pupils to do more hard work so that they can pass their results with flying colors, but it makes weaker students focus less as they begin in a race with other brilliant learners, which puts them down after achieving a bad result. Therefore, sometimes this type of motivation will actually demotivate a child by focusing less on the task.

To sum up, although this message entails certain drawbacks such as unfulfillment of targets, it will make them disheartened, and they will focus less than before; it remains predominantly advantageous. On balance, the benefits it offers clearly surpass its potential drawbacks, making it a positive and progressive development in modern culture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the motivation provided by encouragement and the potential for demotivation due to unrealistic expectations. However, some points are slightly under-developed; for instance, the explanation of why 'unfulfilling their tasks' leads to less focus could be more clearly linked to the psychological impact on the child. The structure is logical, and the response covers all parts of the task well, though the depth of analysis could be increased to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' are used to guide the reader. However, there is some mechanical use of these devices, and some transitions feel slightly repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, though some sentences, such as 'Although it not only promotes their inner capability but also proliferates their vision', lack a clear subject or logical connection to the previous sentence, which slightly disrupts the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'adverse ramifications' and 'flying colors'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'proliferates their vision' (which is not the standard usage of proliferate) and 'make a people' (should be 'make people'). There is also a tendency to use slightly repetitive phrasing when discussing motivation. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that collocations sound natural in the context of the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as sentence fragments ('Although this trend has both positive and negative aspects.') and subject-verb agreement issues ('sometimes greater motivation will make a people lose their interest'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction that occasionally require the reader to re-read to grasp the intended meaning. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures and proofreading for basic grammatical slips would significantly improve your score.

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