Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In several traditions, children are regularly asserted that they can acquire any skill or gain very everything they wish if they work diligently without looking at the clock. This has become a widely discussed topic in this contemporary society. Why I believe that the advantages outweighs the drawbacks. This will be discussed in this essay.
Commence with the drawbacks why individuals consider this is not right.
They contemplate this makes a child over confident and arrogant. They believe getting whatever you want is a fairy tale. Which only happen once in a blue moon. He assumes he has potential and potential makes him feel ready. Which he is not however he is not capable of achieving whatever he believe he can and that is a harsh truth. Eventually when he lose his heart breaks maybe he give up.
Secondly the benefits of this that if a person is diligent. He works hard as hard as possible. He have the right direction. He is aware of the consequences of his actions and he understand the vital significance of the process as result maybe not today maybe not tomorrow but someday he will have want he had worked for but the thing that will him happy after getting what he want is the encouragement.
As far as i am concerned about this children should work hard with passion and compassion however the should not be delusional which will only lead them to disaster. They should set their goals as high as possible but they are supposed to be prepared to achieve the pursuit of their happiness
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, though the development is somewhat uneven. The introduction clearly states a position, but the body paragraphs lack sufficient depth and specific examples. For instance, the argument regarding the 'drawbacks' is somewhat repetitive and relies on generalizations rather than concrete illustrations of how this mindset affects children. The 'benefits' section is also quite brief and lacks a clear, logical link between the process of hard work and the final outcome. To improve, you should aim to expand your points with more detailed explanations or hypothetical scenarios that illustrate your reasoning more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often disjointed. Many sentences are fragmented, such as 'Which only happen once in a blue moon' and 'Which he is not however he is not capable of achieving whatever he believe he can'. These fragments disrupt the logical progression of your argument. While you use some transition words like 'Commence with' and 'Secondly', the overall structure feels mechanical. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices to link your ideas into complete, flowing sentences rather than relying on short, choppy statements that hinder the reader's ability to follow your train of thought.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices. For example, 'regularly asserted' is used incorrectly in the context of children being told something, and 'lose his heart breaks' is an unnatural collocation. You also use 'whatever' and 'everything' in a way that lacks precision. While you attempt to use some more sophisticated vocabulary, the inaccuracies in collocation and word choice occasionally make your meaning unclear. Expanding your range of collocations and focusing on word forms will help you achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'he lose his heart' and 'he have the right direction'. Additionally, the use of sentence fragments is a major issue; many sentences are incomplete or incorrectly punctuated, such as 'Which he is not however he is not capable of achieving...'. The range of structures is limited, and the errors are frequent enough to cause difficulty for the reader. To improve, prioritize mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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