Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Hard struggle is necessary for success but to much hard push them to serious of health . In contrast, children mind is not enough to grow their parent or society insisted for work hard and other piece of advices for their future . This is the wrong way to treat a children.

The hard work also have a lot, advantages as it key to success because a men can achieve every thing with constant work and efforts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 77 words. Consequently, the task is addressed only minimally. While the prompt asks for both advantages and disadvantages, the response provides only a very brief and fragmented discussion. The ideas are severely underdeveloped, lacking the necessary depth, examples, or logical progression required for an academic essay. The position is unclear due to the lack of coherent argumentation and the brevity of the text. To improve, you must expand your ideas into full paragraphs with supporting evidence and ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks a clear logical structure. There is no introduction, body, or conclusion. The sentences are disjointed, and there is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas together. For example, the transition 'In contrast' is used, but it does not effectively connect the preceding thought to the following one because the ideas themselves are not fully formed. Paragraphing is absent, which makes the text difficult to follow. To improve, you should focus on organizing your essay into a standard structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for advantages, one for disadvantages), and a conclusion, using linking words like 'furthermore', 'however', and 'consequently' to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate, which hinders communication. Phrases like 'to much hard push them to serious of health' are grammatically incorrect and use imprecise word choices. There is a lack of variety, and the language used is repetitive and simplistic. To improve, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'perseverance', 'psychological well-being', 'academic pressure', or 'resilience'. Focus on learning collocations and using words in their correct context rather than relying on basic, fragmented sentences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede understanding. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children mind is not enough'), word order, and sentence structure. Many sentences are incomplete or lack the necessary articles and prepositions to be grammatically sound. The range of structures is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple, error-prone sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses, pluralization, and the use of articles. Practicing the construction of complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions will also help improve your grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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