Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Many cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try and every day work hard. Cultures motivate to children for achieving new goals, but some students if they do not get their goals they feel stress and demotivate. While there are some disadvantages to this, I believe that the advantages are more significant.
On the one hand, cultures encourage to children for achieve life goals. This is because culture teach children how they can get success in their life. They teach people should not give up in their life, they should believe their themselves. As a consequently, children work hard every day they wake up early in the morning and exercise then start their works. Furthermore, cultures vital role play in students life because some students want to get 1st position in their class. Numerous students not brilliant in the study, but culture helps to boost their self-confidence. To illustrate, many students are facing challenges in their life because they often try to get good score in the exams, unfortunately they do not achieved marks. Therefore, cultures motivate to students if they work hard they can achieved anything.
On the other hand, despite these benefits there are also certain disadvantages sometimes children fail to achieve their goals. They feel demotivate and suffer from depression. This main reason for this is that children are depending only luck, For instance, they do not do sufficient preparation and practice. Consequently, they do not get satisfied result.
To conclude, cultures foster to children for getting their goals, but sometimes they only depend on luck and predication. Children students trust on their self and work every day.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'cultures' is vague; it is unclear if you mean societal values, parenting styles, or educational systems. The points about '1st position' and 'luck' are relevant but lack depth. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or logical explanations for why this message might be harmful or beneficial in a broader societal context, rather than focusing primarily on exam results.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'As a consequently' and 'This main reason for this is that' are grammatically incorrect and disrupt the flow. Furthermore, the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt. While there is an overall progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive nature of the sentence structures make the essay feel disjointed at times.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is frequent misuse of word forms, such as 'cultures motivate to children' (should be 'encourage children') and 'do not achieved marks' (should be 'do not achieve'). You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with collocations. To improve, focus on using more precise verbs and nouns, and ensure that you are using words in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('culture teach', 'cultures vital role play'), incorrect preposition usage ('motivate to children'), and tense consistency ('do not achieved'). While there is an attempt at complex sentences, they are often poorly constructed. The majority of sentences contain errors, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and proofreading for common errors like verb endings and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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