Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In a few cultures,children are often told that if they work hard, they can achieve everything. It has both merits and demerits. This essay will discuss both and my opinion.
On the one hand,the first and foremost benefit is to boost confidence. If parents and teachers tell to children that,they can achieve everything if they work hard,They will pay more attention toward their goals and do worked hard. For example, If a student wants to become a doctor. He do so hardworking then he will achieve his dream. Moreover this message will assist children to face difficulties. To explain it,If they try best they can easily solve problems by themselves.
On the other hand,it also has some drawbacks. Firstly,If children work hard and could not achieve their goals. They may feel disappoint. In addition, Although success can be got by hard work but it is not fully depend on it. Financially support, opportunities and confidence too play a crucial role in get success. Besides, If children do work hard yet failed in achieving goals. Although the situation is out of their hands They may blame themselves.
In my opinion, This is a good message for children. Parents and teachers should not only tell that you can achieve everything with hard work but also give financial support, opportunities and confidence. They are supposed to telling their children that they should work hard but not tell that they can achieve everything with this.
In conclusion, There are many advantages of this statement such as boost confidence, help them to solve difficulties but it's disadvantages should not be neglected.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'disadvantages' is slightly repetitive, focusing heavily on the feeling of disappointment. While the position is clear, the explanation of why this message might be harmful could be more nuanced. The essay meets the requirements of the task, but the supporting points lack depth and could benefit from more specific examples or a more sophisticated exploration of the psychological impact on children. Overall, it is a relevant response that covers all parts of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the use of punctuation is occasionally inconsistent, which affects the flow. For example, the sentence structure in the second paragraph is fragmented by unnecessary full stops after commas. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the paragraphing and linking could be more sophisticated to achieve a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is a reliance on simple phrasing, such as 'do worked hard' (which is also grammatically incorrect) and 'get success'. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'demerits' and 'financially support', but there are errors in collocation and word choice, such as 'success can be got' instead of 'success can be achieved'. To improve, the student should focus on using more academic collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('He do so hardworking'), incorrect verb forms ('do worked hard'), and punctuation errors (e.g., 'If a student wants to become a doctor. He do so...'). The misuse of articles and prepositions is also noticeable. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band score. More attention to proofreading and sentence structure is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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