Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Now a day it is very common advice that are often given to child that if they work hard for anything they want and do much hard struggle they can achieve anything. My opinion towards that attitude is positive. The main reason behind that is the decillion and the way of working which and makes any one in that word success full.

Those Childers who struggles, and do hard words in this life can achieve any thing they want. because hard working is the min key to success. For example one of the famous person in the History is eon Musk the real reason behind there success is not there luck not money. the rea reason behind them is the hard work that he do. and as a resin he is now the is success full person of the history.

so a child aims to become very success full in his life or aim to get anything and do hard work with patience one day he will achieve anything that he wants.

the real Success is not left the work the real success is to end it and got achieve what you want.

the one of the main advantage of doing hard work is that you might know that how you can do that. before you take advice from any other success full person

But where there is advantage of achieving anything there is also drawbacks such as if a person is doing hard work to achieve the good job they the trend of that job gets diaper is main loss of his hard working

so it very import to note that before you do hard work for any role in your life you must know the rends of that works.

to prevent that you worked hard but you get lost because the trends of that worse got disappear

so that is the main point do hard work for those thing which remains treading for at least more that ten year

but those students or Childers who do hard works don't got ost i n there life because you have put your energy your precious time your age so all the things will got lost you trust in got and do your hard work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the message that hard work leads to success. However, the development is inconsistent. While you provide a clear opinion, the arguments are often repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the discussion on 'trends' is somewhat unclear and difficult to follow, which limits the effectiveness of your argument. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-explained point rather than restating the same idea about hard work multiple times. The inclusion of Elon Musk as an example is relevant, but it needs to be integrated more smoothly into a structured argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. Paragraphing is used, but the transitions between ideas are often abrupt or confusing. There is a heavy reliance on simple, repetitive cohesive devices like 'so' and 'because'. Many sentences are disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical progression of your argument. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'on the other hand') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea for that section.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is quite limited and there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'decillion' (likely meaning 'dedication'), 'Childers' (children), 'eon Musk' (Elon Musk), and 'diaper' (disappear). These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to use more sophisticated or precise terms to express your ideas. To reach a higher band, focus on learning collocations and accurate spelling of common academic terms. Try to avoid repeating the same words, such as 'success' and 'hard work', by using synonyms or paraphrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('he do', 'trends of that works'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or fragmented, which makes the text difficult to read. There is very little evidence of complex sentence structures, and the ones attempted are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that sentences are properly punctuated. Practice writing clear, simple sentences before attempting more complex structures.

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