Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often said that in some cultures, children sometimes told that they can achieve their desired thing if they work hard to get it. There are both advantages and disadvantages for this trend. Both are discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs with valid reasons.

There are some positive attitude to say children that they can achieve anything. The foremost reason is to encourage children to work hard and persevere. When children are working hard and providing time to gain benefits, they are likely to achieve the dream in their life. Although only hard work can not bring success, individuals have to consider other factors such as planning, time management, smart work. Moreover, it is used to build confidence and self-belief. Confidence is a very important factor to achieve the desired thing in everyone’s lives, as it makes their mind strong to follow the routine to gain it.

However, sometimes motivational messages do not always lead to success. One significant factor is that it may create unrealistic expectations about success. When people are solely say to children that hard work can bring success without analyzing their interest and passion, it may lead to waste of time and energy. As a result, children may no longer be willing to take risks in the future. Additionally, children may blame themselves when they fail to achieve it with consistency and hard work. As pupils do not achieve their desired goal, they not only believe that they did not try hard enough but also lose courage and confidence. Therefore, their behavior may change considerably.

Overall, in some cultures, children are often encouraged to believe that they can achieve anything if they work hard enough. Although there are positive aspects, such as encouraging children and building their confidence, we cannot ignore the disadvantages. This message may create unrealistic expectations and cause children to blame themselves when they fail to achieve their goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are supported with relevant explanations. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the point about 'unrealistic expectations' could have been expanded with a more concrete example or a deeper analysis of the psychological impact on children. While the task is fully addressed, the depth of the arguments remains at a functional level rather than a fully extended one, which is characteristic of a Band 6.5 to 7.0 performance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'The foremost reason', 'Moreover', 'However', and 'As a result' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the vague use of 'it' in 'achieve it with consistency', where the antecedent is not perfectly clear. Overall, the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary (e.g., 'persevere', 'unrealistic expectations', 'considerably'), but there are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'desired thing' (repeatedly used) and 'providing time to gain benefits'. These minor inaccuracies do not impede communication, but they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. A wider range of precise, academic vocabulary would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a waste of time'), subject-verb agreement ('children sometimes told'), and prepositions. For example, 'When people are solely say to children' is grammatically incorrect. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. More control over complex structures and a reduction in basic grammatical slips are needed for a higher band.

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