Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

students achieve higher grades in academics.

parents push them

help them in future prospect

high pressure - make them anxious,

In the modern world, students have more opportunities to choose which subjects they want to study and what they like to wear. However, in some regions, children are often taught that hard work is the key to success. There are several advantages and the disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss on it.

To commence with, parental pressure is one of the major reasons for student to achieve a higher grades. They constantly guide their children by sharing knowledge on same topic or helps them to complete their homework especially on weekends to track their progress. When parents strictly place pressure on their children, they may become more focused on their studies. For example, certain parents bribe their children, if they achieve more than 80% percent grades they will provide a video game as a token of appreciation. so in the hope to receive that gift, student become more motivated and focused. Therefore, parental pressure not only helps students achieve good grades but also makes them more determined and focused on their studies.

On the other hand, there are several drawbacks such a person become highly anxious, isolated and more likely to suffer from health problems. when parents constantly expect their children to achieve higher grades, students feel that they are never good enough. They may worry about disappointed their parents. This constant pressure make them anxious, stressed and socially isolated. If this stress continues for a long time, it can also affect their physical health, sleep and overall well-being. For instance, a student who is expected to score above 90% in every examination may spend most of their time studying instead of socializing or participating in extracurricular activities. Consequently, they may experience stress, lack of sleep and reduced confidence.

In conclusion, although parental pressure help students to achieve higher grades which help them in future prospect. However, constant expectations and the fear of not being able to meet these expectations can make them anxious and stressed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are generally well-developed. For instance, the discussion on parental pressure leading to academic success is supported by a concrete example of a reward system. The disadvantages are also clearly articulated, focusing on anxiety and health. However, the essay could be improved by more explicitly linking the 'hard work' message mentioned in the prompt to the long-term psychological impact, rather than focusing solely on 'parental pressure'. Overall, the response is relevant and covers all parts of the task sufficiently.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'On the other hand', and 'Consequently' are used effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. While the flow is generally smooth, there are minor issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as the slightly awkward transition in the conclusion: 'although parental pressure help students... However, constant expectations...'. Despite this, the progression of ideas remains clear throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is sufficient for the task, allowing for some precision. You use terms like 'extracurricular activities', 'token of appreciation', and 'socially isolated' effectively. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'discuss on it' (should be 'discuss it') and 'future prospect' (should be 'future prospects'). Additionally, some phrasing is slightly repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'achieve higher grades'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and demonstrate a more sophisticated control of collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a good attempt at using conditional sentences and relative clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors that persist, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('parental pressure help' instead of 'helps', 'student become' instead of 'students become') and article usage errors ('a higher grades'). Punctuation is generally functional, though some sentences are slightly fragmented or run-on. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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