Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is certainly true that youngsters frequently told that they have freedom to conquer anything in life I they work hard for certain thing. In my opinion there are so many benefits and drawbacks of this think.

Firstly, the benefits to this is that the individual have the sense of hardworking to achieve their goals instead of depending on someone else. Children's nowadays are always looking for the shortcuts and they have less patience which result into so many mistakes which can effect there future.By practising hardworking and the seriousness in your work you can have idea that how important the thing is and you know the importance that goal that you want to achieve.

In addition, when you are so fond of doing shortcuts and luckily you got the thing right you become overconfident and whenever in future if you face any failure, you are not ready to experience that thing whichacn lead an extreme disappointment and can also cause anxiety, depression and many mental health issues. I have seen so many people in life who are always looking for shortcuts but also they are not ready for anything challenging because they didnt get through any hardworking.

Concluding that I really appreciate the idea of learning and teach your children about hardworking which can be helpful in my ways as they always will respect about things they have instead of just cursing them. Hardworking should be an basic manner in human beings to produce the sense of being grateful for the things we have achieved in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, though the development is somewhat uneven. You identify the benefit of fostering a strong work ethic and the drawback of potential overconfidence and mental health issues. However, the explanation is occasionally repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the link between 'shortcuts' and 'mental health issues' is mentioned but not fully explored with clear examples. To improve, ensure each point is supported by a concrete explanation or example that directly relates to the prompt. Your position is clear throughout, but the development of ideas needs to be more sophisticated to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'In addition' to signal new points. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'Concluding that I really appreciate...'. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track the subject of your sentences. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your sentences connect smoothly to one another rather than feeling like a list of separate thoughts.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'hardworking' as a noun, which is grammatically incorrect in this context (e.g., 'practising hardworking'). There are also issues with word choice, such as 'conquer anything' instead of 'achieve anything' or 'succeed'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the reliance on basic vocabulary prevent a higher score. To improve, try to learn collocations and synonyms for common words, and pay closer attention to the correct part of speech for the words you use.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'youngsters frequently told' instead of 'are frequently told'), missing articles, and incorrect sentence structures (e.g., 'result into so many mistakes'). You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'whenever in future if you face any failure'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically the use of auxiliary verbs and correct verb tenses. Proofreading for common errors like missing 'to be' verbs would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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