Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Make the children believe that they can achieve anything in their life, if they work hard enough and try to do something with dedication. Moreover everything has its own pros and cons, and it has a great impact on children life. however, it also has pessimistic effects on children.

On the one hand, parents always told their children that if they work hard in their life they could achieve anything .

In this way the children become dedicated and work hard enough to achieve their goals. In this way Youngsters are trying hard to fulfill their parents wish. However, when the children the are trying to achieve goals and when they get good results, they feel enthusiastic and it release dopamine it their mind, which prove that it was worth to give that much time to themselves. For instance, child work hard to get good results in his life, and in the end he got good results, he got a spot in then next class and it rejuvenate his mind as well, he feel saturated and his family has a proud on him.

conversely, The parents need to fulfill extra necessities of their children. The child who is arduous and did not give his time to the physical activities become physically weak, and adopted into the illness like stress and anxiety which often change into depression. Moreover youngster those who work hard and did no achieve what they want in their life, they become disappointed and blame their children.

In conclusion, it is good to work hard and become diligent. However, to rejuvenate their mind they have to do something physically so they can focus more on their work. Moreover Relatives and parent also be aware and not to mislead child emotionally. That is how child become resilient, arduous and gracious.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally unclear. For example, the explanation of dopamine release is a bit simplistic, and the point about parents blaming their children in the second body paragraph is confusing and lacks logical connection to the prompt. While the position is generally clear, the arguments could be more thoroughly extended with more specific, relevant examples to reach a higher band. The introduction is also quite weak and does not clearly outline the essay's direction.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression between and within them is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand' and 'conversely', they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the subject of 'they' or 'he' shifts abruptly. The flow of ideas is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors, which makes the overall structure feel somewhat fragmented rather than cohesive.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect collocations, such as 'saturated' to describe a feeling, 'arduous' used to describe a person, and 'rejuvenate his mind' which is used repetitively. Some terms are used incorrectly, such as 'adopted into the illness'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of variety and occasional misuse of words limit the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors. These include subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'parents always told', 'child work hard'), missing articles, and incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'release dopamine it their mind'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and misused commas. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding the message, they occur frequently enough to impede the flow and clarity of the writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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