Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people in different civilization teach their children that nothing is impossible to achieve, if they try hard they can achieve anything in their life. This essay will contain both advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, it is very important to build a strong courage and trust in children from a very young age because it would help in building a sturdy self-esteem which would help children in their life. Which is the reason people from different civilization teach their children that 'if they want to achieve something in their life they got to work hard for it'. For example when the child is in school days strong confidence would help him to get part in different activities and win a lot of prices.
On the other hand, this makes children overconfident and fail in their life. When the children grew older and experience the harsh reality of life they would be disappointed that how hard they try, they would not be able to achieve everything they wanted in their life. For example a child had a dream to get a job in google, they tried so hard for good marks but got just one mark less for the selection which will lead to mental breakdown and the child might get depressed for their whole life because their expectation grew beyond their limits.
To conclude, making the children learn that hard work can help them achieve everything is not so good for child's mental health because it can increase their expectation and if they are not able to achieve it would break them completely.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding the 'advantages' is brief and relies on general statements about self-esteem. The 'disadvantages' section is more detailed, providing a specific example of a job application, though the example is slightly hyperbolic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more balanced and nuanced development for both sides of the argument, ensuring that the link between the message given to children and the long-term psychological outcomes is explored with greater depth and academic maturity.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the transitions between sentences are sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., 'Which is the reason...'). To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt. Improving the flow between sentences will make the writing feel more cohesive and professional.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on somewhat repetitive phrasing, such as 'achieve anything in their life' and 'hard work'. There are also some minor collocation errors, such as 'win a lot of prices' (should be 'prizes') and 'build a strong courage'. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and collocations. For example, instead of 'hard work', you could use 'perseverance' or 'diligent effort'. Expanding your vocabulary will allow you to express your ideas with more nuance and impact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people... teach', 'child had a dream'), article usage (e.g., 'get a job in google'), and punctuation errors. Some sentences are also slightly awkward, such as 'disappointed that how hard they try'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and article placement. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will help elevate your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.