Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that, children are sometimes in many communities, advised to try hard enough so that they can succeed anything they want. It is benefitial because it motivates them to be stronger and work harder but sometimes it can drain them if they cannot achieve what they want.

On of the major advantages of the advise is the motivation and perseverance they get from a very early age. They learn to be stronger because they believe nothing is free and that they have to earn the qualities to achieve their goal. As a result, they become more attentive, disciplined and serious about their future goals. Moreover, they do not give up easily after a failure. For example, children who are motivated to study harder after a weak score in exams would potentially perform better the next time compared to kids who are scolded for getting bad grades.

There is, however, a potential disadvantage as well. When a child does not achieve what he was working hard for, it can mentally drain him, potentially causing under-confidence and underestimation about himself. For instance, they would start comparing themselves with others and might fight internally causing many problems both mentally and physically. However, with proper care and consideration about these side-effects from their parents, the drawbacks can be managed very easily.

In conclusion, despite having downsides of the consequences of failure even after working hard, the advantage of increased motivation and will power from a very young age, outweigh the disadvantages in my opinion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that children might feel 'mentally drained,' this point could be expanded with more specific real-world examples or deeper analysis of the long-term psychological impact. The introduction is slightly repetitive and could be more concise. Overall, you have covered all parts of the task, but the depth of the argument is more characteristic of a Band 6.5 or 7.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. You use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'For instance,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition in the third paragraph ('However, with proper care...') is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they connect ideas more naturally would help elevate this score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'perseverance,' 'disciplined,' and 'under-confidence.' There are some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'benefitial' (beneficial) and 'advise' (advice). While you attempt to use some less common vocabulary, the range is somewhat restricted, and some phrases are slightly repetitive. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring spelling accuracy. The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'succeed anything they want' (succeed in anything) and 'On of the major' (One of the). Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the unnecessary comma after 'argued that' in the first sentence. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will also help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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