Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In some nations, most of time elders teach to children they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This essay will discuss the both positive and negative impacts of this message. However, proper guidance with this concept will outweight its disadvantages.
The major advantages of this message is that it helps to improve hope and it leads atleast take a decision rather than just skipping. Everyone have multiple situations in life where people unbelive on their strength. For example, If a children plan to do something with the motivation of he can achieve it, if he will work hard such as work on a difficult course, there is more chance of success. In addition, when young people enter in professional life they have to face many challanges and this type of motivational messages help them to grow at work place because they can cop with hardles.
On the other hand, it can be negatively impact on some childrens and the reason behind that they think about a bad thing and also plan its solution, how to save themselves such as criminal acts, alcohol involment. However, they commit a crime with the hope they can run away. Furthermore, some children start habbit of alcohol in the earlly age with the concept of they will leave later.
To sum up, many parents try to give strength to children, they can achieve their dreams if they work hard. This concept can have more benefits than its drawbacks. Whereas, a child or professional affraid to accept new challanges he may fail in life. Similarly, significant confidence to get out from any situation can lead the young generation towards negative things.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the advantages are explained with some clarity, the disadvantages are poorly articulated; the link between 'believing you can achieve anything' and 'criminal acts' is illogical and lacks sufficient explanation, making the argument difficult to follow. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments for the negative impacts are not well-developed or relevant to the core concept of the prompt. To improve, ensure that your arguments are logical and directly address the prompt's premise rather than making extreme, unsupported claims.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'In addition', 'On the other hand', 'To sum up'), they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. The transition between sentences is occasionally abrupt, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between 'significant confidence' and 'negative things' is vague. Improving the logical progression between sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'unbelive on their strength' (lack belief in their own strength) and 'alcohol involment' (involvement in alcohol). Some terms are used incorrectly, which occasionally impedes the reader's understanding. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. Avoid repetitive phrasing and try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas more clearly and naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Everyone have'), article usage (e.g., 'a children'), and incorrect prepositional phrases. While these errors do not completely prevent communication, they are persistent and noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Additionally, try to proofread your work specifically for these recurring errors to ensure your complex sentences are grammatically sound.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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