Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some countries, children are regularly advised that if they word hard enough, they can accomplish any goal in their life. It helps the children to stay focused but at the same time, it becomes stressful for children.

On one hand, when children are taught to stay focused and work hard to achieve their goals, it has a positive impact on children's minds. Working hard makes the students become disciplined and consistent. They gain practical and problem solving skills which will have long life impacts. Although working hard helps them to succeed in their work that they are doing currently, it also helps them to have better career aspects in future. For instance, a student who is not good enough to play piano at start should not give up. Instead, he should practice everyday to become so vigilant in his work that no one can beat him during a competition. If he stays consistent, it will also help him to become an artist in future.

On the other hand, if too much pressure is put on children to work diligently, then it will have some drawbacks. When a child is working too hard and he is entirely focused on his goal, he becomes stressful as he is not even meeting with his friends. Further, kids can get anxious if they are not attaining their goals quickly. For example, a student who has studied all week without getting enough sleep cannot perform well in exams and gets anxious with the fear of failure.

To conclude, although children get motivated and disciplined when elders advise them to work hard, it causes depression sometimes. So, they should be taught to work hard but at the same time, they should not lose hope after a failure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example of the piano student is a bit simplistic, and the discussion on the disadvantages could be more deeply explored with more sophisticated reasoning. While the task is fully addressed, the depth of analysis is more characteristic of a Band 6.5 or 7.0. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced arguments and extend your examples to show a deeper understanding of the psychological or social implications of this message.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with a standard introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'For instance' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, the flow between some sentences is slightly mechanical, and the use of referencing could be more varied. The progression of ideas is logical, but the transition between the benefits of hard work and the potential for anxiety could be smoother to improve the overall cohesion of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'positive impact,' 'problem solving skills,' and 'fear of failure.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'vigilant in his work' (vigilant usually implies watchfulness for danger, not diligence) and 'career aspects' (career prospects would be more accurate). The range is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'if they word hard enough' (should be 'work'), 'he becomes stressful' (should be 'he becomes stressed'), and 'meeting with his friends' (should be 'meeting his friends'). These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of adjectives versus participles (e.g., stressed vs. stressful).

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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