Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is true that in few Culters, children are often taught that they can accomplish anything as long as they work hard enough. While this trend brings several notable benefits, it also introduces certain drawbacks that need to be considered.
To begin with, there are several distinct advantages of this thought Is that it encourages them to acquire their goals in the future. The primary benefit is that it does not allows them to give up in anything. This attitude boosts their confidence so that they have to win in anything at any cost. For instance, If a student cannot well in his English exam, he will try extremely hard to do better in his next exam. A never give up mentality could help them to recover form danger. Consequently, individuals can experience a significant improvement their daily lives
On the other hand, despite the aforementioned benefits, there are some notable disadvantages associated with this phenomenon. A major drawback is that nevertheless at any cost children have to win in anything and It creates a kind of deep emotional stress on them. Asa result, after trying so hard, if they do not get the
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely limits the development of ideas. While you introduce both advantages and disadvantages, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence. The ideas presented, such as the 'never give up' mentality and 'emotional stress,' are relevant but remain underdeveloped due to the lack of length and depth. To reach a higher band, you must ensure you fully explore your arguments with sufficient supporting evidence and examples, and complete the essay structure with a clear conclusion. Currently, the task is only partially addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'The primary benefit is,' and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the logical progression is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is attempted, but the second paragraph is cut off, preventing a coherent conclusion. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'this thought Is that it encourages them,' which lacks a clear antecedent. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, fully developed central idea that flows logically into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple phrasing like 'win in anything' and 'try extremely hard.' There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'acquire their goals' (should be 'achieve') and 'recover form danger' (likely meant 'recover from failure'). To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to child development and psychology. Avoid repetitive phrasing and focus on using words that accurately convey your intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'in few Culters' (should be 'in some cultures'), 'it does not allows' (should be 'it does not allow'), and 'cannot well in his English exam' (missing a verb like 'do'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary capitalization of 'Culters' and 'Is.' While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of subject-verb agreement and sentence construction.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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