Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is true that in few Culters, children are often taught that they can accomplish anything as long as they work hard enough. While this trend brings several notable benefits, it also introduces certain drawbacks that need to be considered.
To begin with, there are several distinct advantages of this thought Is that it encourages them to acquire their goals in the future. The primary benefit is that it does not allows them to give up in anything. This attitude boosts their confidence so that they have to win in anything at any cost. For instance, If a student cannot well in his English exam, he will try extremely hard to do better in his next exam. A never give up mentality could help them to recover form danger. Consequently, individuals can experience a significant improvement their daily lives
On the other hand, despite the aforementioned benefits, there are some notable disadvantages associated with this phenomenon. A major drawback is that nevertheless at any cost children have to win in anything and it creates a kind of deep emotional stress on them. As a result, after trying so hard, if they do not get the expected result they may frustrate on them. This belief may give children an unrealistic view of life because success often depends on other factors, such as talent, opportunities and personal circumstances. For example, a good-looking person cannot be an actor just by hard work, it also depends on his talent, skill and so on. All of these disadvantages' children face severe challenges in the long run.
In conclusion, while it encourages children to gain his aim and never give up mindset offers undeniable benefits, the potential drawbacks such as children may depressed for their lose remain a matter of concern. Therefore, this issue requires a balanced approach rather than a one-sided perspective.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why children might feel 'frustrated' is a bit simplistic, and the example regarding the actor is a good start but could be more deeply integrated into the argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully explored with more nuanced reasoning rather than relying on repetitive phrasing like 'at any cost'. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, but the depth of analysis is consistent with a mid-range band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the advantages, then the disadvantages, and finally the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To begin with, there are several distinct advantages of this thought Is that it encourages...'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and some transitions feel forced. Improving the variety and natural flow of linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'aforementioned' and 'unrealistic view', which is positive. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'acquire their goals' (should be 'achieve'), 'cannot well in his English exam' (should be 'does not perform well'), and 'may frustrate on them' (should be 'may become frustrated'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('it does not allows'), incorrect word forms ('children may depressed'), and awkward phrasing ('a never give up mentality could help them to recover form danger'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. While the writer attempts complex structures, the frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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