Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In different countries, young people are taught that they have the ability to reach their goals if they are willing to put in the hard work. In this essay, I will explore the postive and negative sides of this mindset. Firstly, I will discuss its virtues, and secondly, I will talk about the downsides.

Initially, telling children to believe in themselves is a powerful idea that can contribute to their success. In fact, it'll always remind them to stand up after every fall and setback. For instance, a student that keeps trying to understand a topic they're facing difficulties in will eventually figure out his problem. In addition, it'll help them to achieve all their goals. For example, many great athletes found things outragously hard at the beginning of their journey, but we see them today on social media and advertisements because they never decided to give up.

On the other hand, one of the cons of this message is that it may lead to them performing dangerous acts, which can affect their mental or physical health. One might continue their mistakes with the wrong idea of "challenging yourself to reach desired achievements". For example, a young sportsman may feel tired or even dizzy, but still continue his workout. The reason behind this is that he has a wrong understanding of this idea.

In conclusion, trying hard in life is a good thing that can result in impressive success, but it should be implied correctly to prevent any bad effects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide examples, such as the athlete or the student, the analysis remains relatively superficial. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the implications of these ideas. For instance, instead of just stating that children might perform dangerous acts, you could discuss the long-term psychological impact of 'burnout' or the pressure to succeed. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the argument is more consistent with a Band 6.0, as the ideas are relevant but could be more fully extended.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the flow is somewhat mechanical, and the paragraphing is functional but basic. The progression of ideas is clear, but the transition between the positive aspects and the negative consequences could be smoother. To improve, try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more sophisticated, moving beyond simple additive connectors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'setback', 'virtues', and 'mindset'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'outragously hard' is misspelled and slightly informal, and 'implied correctly' is not the most natural collocation for this context (perhaps 'applied' or 'interpreted' would be better). You attempt to use less common vocabulary, but the control is not always precise. To improve, focus on using collocations that sound more natural in an academic context and ensure spelling is accurate throughout.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'a student that keeps trying' (should be 'who'), and 'it'll' (contractions should be avoided in formal academic writing). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Your control over punctuation is generally good, but the reliance on simple sentence patterns limits your range. To improve, incorporate a wider variety of complex structures, such as conditional sentences or passive voice, and ensure that subject-verb agreement is consistently accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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