Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In differnet region of the world parents often told there children if they try enough they will be succeeded. Essay will discuss the prons and cons of this statement and its impact on children lives.

By discussing its Advantages childrens will have a motivation to to achieve there goals inorder to succed in there life, one of my cousin is now a successful engineer when he was 10 years old he was not performing well in his school his grades was below average one day my father told him that if you never try hard to achieve goal you will be broke for the rest of your life and from then he start study hard and achieve the goal of his life

This kind of messages has deep effects on the children life because in the early age mind is not mature enough , which could depress then if they didnt achieve a certain goal or cant achieve good grades report of WHO states that now a days childrens are more depressed then ever beacause of the societal pressure and wrong advises given by their parent one of my children is facing same issue he was failed in his 1 class and i told him that if he would not work hard he will be failed in his life and now he is not even going to school

In a nutshell, i will say that this Advise has its prons and cons so be care full about your advises which you give to your children beacause you dont know which advise could hurt them and will change there lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you provide personal anecdotes, such as the story of your cousin and your child, these are not fully integrated into a broader academic argument. The position is clear, but the explanation of the 'advantages' and 'disadvantages' lacks depth and relies heavily on anecdotal evidence rather than general analysis. To improve, ensure you explore the psychological or societal implications of this message more thoroughly rather than focusing solely on individual examples. The introduction is also quite brief and contains several errors that affect the overall clarity of your thesis statement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression between ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as 'By discussing its Advantages' or 'In a nutshell'. There are issues with referencing; for example, the transition between the benefits and the drawbacks is abrupt. The lack of clear linking words makes the relationship between your arguments and your examples feel forced. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'conversely', 'consequently') to connect your sentences and paragraphs more fluidly, ensuring that each paragraph flows logically from the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express complex ideas. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'differnet', 'prons', 'beacause', 'advise' used as a noun instead of 'advice') and word choice inaccuracies. While you attempt to use some topic-related vocabulary, the overall range is restricted. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling. Avoid informal phrasing and ensure that you use the correct form of words, such as distinguishing between the verb 'advise' and the noun 'advice'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('parents often told there children'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which makes them difficult to follow. For instance, the sentence 'one of my cousin is now a successful engineer when he was 10 years old he was not performing well...' is a comma splice and lacks necessary conjunctions. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of tenses before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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