Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Confidence is the main key to achieve any goal in life even what are the cicumstances to reach the desination.Some person beleive that childern should be encouage and tell them they can get any goal if they will try with full energy. Onthe other hand, it creates an other world where every child has beleif that he can achieve the goal but not every destination needs hard work sometime smart work lesds it.
On the positive side, to bulid confidence in children to achieve any any goal of life with hard work increase the working capability of children and these words act like a booster to gain anything in life. In many socities, children taught lesson to get anything which help them in adult life to face any challenge and hurdle without losing hope and confidence. Hard work can beat the talent. In case of civil service exam, mostly participants which passed the exam were from middle class or some socities where elders taught them to work hard to achieve the goal.
On the other end, giving confidence of getting the destination by hard work also give negative impact. As we are living in the era of technology, where smart work lead the hard work with the invention of various technologies like AI. If a child in real life or in career couldnot get the goal then it leads to destructive society. As in India, many students did suicide because they could not get the expected grades even though they did hard work and sleepless nights.
In conclusion, Confidence to achieve any task in life gives a way destination but what outcomes will come when hurdles come on the way so, Disadvatnges outweigh the advantages as socities should tell the reality of barriers in career goals rather than just focus on achieving the goals by hard work.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you provide a clear example regarding the pressure on students in India, other points, such as the mention of 'smart work' versus 'hard work', are introduced but not fully explored or linked back to the core argument effectively. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments could be more nuanced to reach a higher band. Ensure that each paragraph provides sufficient explanation rather than just stating a point.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the positive side' and 'On the other end', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. There are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as in the introduction where the connection between confidence and circumstances is unclear. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, but there are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'cicumstances', 'desination', 'beleive', and 'socities'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'working capability' and 'destructive society', the overall control is limited. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic words and pay closer attention to collocations to ensure your language sounds more natural and precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'children taught lesson' (missing auxiliary/passive voice), 'mostly participants which passed' (incorrect relative pronoun and word order), and 'smart work lead the hard work' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions.
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