Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The methods of caring and nourishing for children varies from culture to culture. Different culture and society follow different processes to teach their children about life lessons. Some may believe it is God's will to provide us with all achievement, while others may think it's about hard work.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough but I assume this as a wrong message for longer period of time. Teaching children to work hard to achieve their dreams is a part of good parenting but the hard work should be done in limit.

The advantages of this message includes teaching them the importance of hard work and consistency. Children will learn to work hard to achieve their dreams. This also teaches children with discipline in life, boosts concentration and helps to gain concentration.

But the disadvantages may include situations like depression, stress, anxiety and other mental health issues. Excessive pressure may lead to negative circumstances which will affect the child's mental health as well as physical health. It is important to maintain the boundary of hard work and pressure on the children.

It is also imperative to help children to find out their field of choice or to know what they actually like. If children's are doing something which is not in their wish, they will automatically lose interest, eventually affecting the future plans. But if we also consider children's field of choice and support them to achieve their goals, the results will be positive in the end.

So it's necessary for all cultures to teach children hardwork but at the same time, they should also consider children's choices and goals to achieve positive results

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention 'discipline' and 'mental health issues', these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper reasoning to reach a higher band. Your position is clear, but the argument lacks the depth required for a higher score. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the points made. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of why these advantages or disadvantages occur, rather than just listing them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'but', 'however', and 'in addition', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be more sophisticated. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve the overall flow of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'imperative', 'consistency', and 'circumstances'. However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'caring and nourishing for children' (which should be 'child-rearing' or 'nurturing') and 'in limit' (which should be 'within limits'). There is also some repetition of words like 'children' and 'hard work'. To improve, try to use more synonyms and collocations to show a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'If children's are doing something' (should be 'If children are doing something') and 'The advantages of this message includes' (should be 'include'). There are also minor issues with article usage and pluralization. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and proofreading for small grammatical slips to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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