Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is a widespread belief that relentless work and effort guarantees success in some cultures. It could help them to have motivation and desire to mover forwards, however, it could also set unrealistic dreams in younger people.

On the one hand, telling youngsters that they can achieve anything they want if they try hard is a good way of helping them to step out of their comfort zone to take more steps. Furthermore, giving this advices from a young age, allows children to think outside of their boxes and explore every possible opportunities since they have a mindset that they can accomplish anything in any field. For example, in sports, if a person who do not play any sports believe in themselves and pursue sports with strong discipline, it is actually possible even if they are not born athlethic.

On the other hand, this message do actually have some drawbacks. One disadvantage is that it could set unachievable expectations in their mind such as becoming a billionare or win olympic. What i mean by this is that, it is not impossible, but only a few number of people achieve this. Therefore, telling children that they can become anything they want in the future would cause problems in the midway. For instance, they might exprience depression, burnout and might even lose their whole confidence because of failing to do things they have desired despite trying their best.

In conclusion, some people achieve evrything by believing in themselves, but others might not be able to success even though they tried their best. Therefore, advising children to try hard so that they can accomplish anything can be beneficial as well as detrimental.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are generally well-developed. For instance, you provide specific examples like 'becoming a billionaire' or 'winning Olympic' to illustrate the potential negative psychological impact of unrealistic expectations. However, the development of the advantages could be slightly more nuanced; while you mention 'stepping out of comfort zones', further elaboration on how this translates to long-term success would strengthen the argument. Overall, the response covers all parts of the task well, meeting the requirements for a Band 7.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'Therefore' to guide the reader through your arguments. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. For example, the phrase 'this message' is used frequently. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two sides of the argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that cohesive devices are used more naturally and that the flow between sentences is smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing for clear communication. You use some topic-specific terms like 'discipline', 'unrealistic expectations', and 'burnout'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'giving this advices' (should be 'giving this advice'), 'mover forwards' (should be 'move forward'), and 'not able to success' (should be 'not able to succeed'). These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the score. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary and focusing on correct word forms would help improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and pluralization, such as 'this message do actually' (should be 'does'), 'every possible opportunities' (should be 'opportunity'), and 'a few number of people' (should be 'a small number'). Additionally, there are minor spelling errors like 'athlethic' and 'evrything'. Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement.

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