Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Since the ancient times, children are convinced that with hard work they can achieve anything in life. Although, there are many merits and demerits of giving this message to children. We will be discussing about these factors today.

It has been proven that with the right amount of hard work and dedication we can achieve anything. I completely agree with this factor because this message provides enough motivation in children. Moreover, they will start chasing their dreams and put enough efforts to make them a reality. For instance, if a student tries hard and puts enough efforts to clear an examination then he can definitely pass the examination with great marks. Meanwhile if he does not put any efforts in clearing the examination, it is evident that the student will fail.

In contrast, If a child is given this message to achieve something that is out of his capabilities, then the child can have a negative impact on him or her. The major disadvantages involve the child falling into depression or mental stress. To give you can example, If a parent constantly advises the child to get first rank in school every time they write an examination, then it is evident that the child may end up in depression.

Therefore, I believe on the fact that with right amount of hard work one can manifest anything in life. Furthermore, It is on the parents to deliver this message in a meaningful way so that their children can have a positive impact from it. Consequently, this can help the children avoiding stress and work towards success.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention motivation as an advantage and mental stress as a disadvantage, the arguments remain superficial and lack depth. For instance, the example regarding a student failing an exam is quite simplistic. To achieve a higher band, you should explore the psychological nuances of this message, such as the impact on resilience versus the risk of developing a fragile sense of self-worth. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments need more thorough elaboration to fully meet the requirements of a Band 7 or higher.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'In contrast', and 'Consequently' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. For example, the opening paragraph is slightly disjointed, and the use of 'this factor' to refer back to a concept is sometimes imprecise. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the sophistication and precision expected at higher bands. You rely on common phrases like 'achieve anything' and 'put enough efforts' repeatedly. There are also some minor collocation issues, such as 'I believe on the fact that' (should be 'I believe in the fact that' or simply 'I believe that'). To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Since the ancient times' (should be 'Since ancient times') and 'If a child is given this message to achieve something that is out of his capabilities, then the child can have a negative impact on him or her' (the subject-verb relationship here is slightly awkward). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are some unnecessary capitalizations, such as 'If' in the middle of sentences. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining complex sentence construction will help improve your score.

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