Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Hard work is the only key to success. With hard work a person can achieve all its goals which seems impossible at some point. People believe that children are told they can achieve their goals if they work hard for it. There are various pros and cons related to this statement which I shall discuss in forthcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, in today's competitive era, children have their own dreams and goals that they want to achieve in order to build a successful career. For instance, some have the targets to score better in their academics, some want to follow their aims while some wanted to have their own businesses. These all can be easily achieved if they work hard. At an early age, children are taught about the importance of hard work at schools and homes as well. It acts as a base for them and helps them in accomplishing their future goals successfully. Moreover, it boosts their confidence required to follows the path towards their targets. They are told to start with a small goal and therefore, with consistent efforts, dedication and hard work they can achieve whatever they want to achieve in their life.

Contrary to this, it can also create a sense of stress at a small age. Students are only focused on hard work, spend long hours reading books and doing homework, consequently it effects their mental as well as physical health. They do not get enough time to play and relax their minds which reduces their personal growth. To exemplify, during exam days, students are asked to concentrate on their studies only as parents want their child to score higher than other students. Parents do not allow them to play with their friends. Moreover, schools also focused more on theoretical knowledge ignoring the need for other curricular activities. In addition to this, they sometimes feel pressurize which affects their concentration and forced them to commit mistakes.

From the above confabulation, it is irrefutable to state that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages. Undoubtedly, children must be told to achieve their dreams with hard work which is necessary to become a successful person in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are generally well-developed. For instance, you effectively link the concept of hard work to academic success and confidence-building in the second paragraph, and you provide relevant points regarding stress and physical health in the third. However, the development could be more nuanced; the argument tends to over-generalize slightly, and the conclusion is a bit brief. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully explored with specific, logical consequences rather than just listing them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'Contrary to this', and 'In addition to this' to guide the reader. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Additionally, the referencing in the final paragraph ('From the above confabulation') is somewhat awkward; 'confabulation' is not the correct term here, as it implies a casual conversation or a psychological term for false memories. Using 'discussion' or 'analysis' would be more appropriate for an academic essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including phrases like 'competitive era', 'consistent efforts', and 'theoretical knowledge'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'effects their mental' should be 'affects their mental', and 'feel pressurize' should be 'feel pressured'. The word 'confabulation' is misused. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, these errors occasionally distract the reader. Focusing on precise word forms and collocations will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use complex sentences, there are persistent grammatical errors. For example, 'some wanted to have their own businesses' should be 'some want to have their own businesses' to maintain tense consistency. There are also errors in subject-verb agreement and word forms, such as 'forced them to commit mistakes' (should be 'forces') and 'at a small age' (should be 'at a young age'). These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score.

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