Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This message is one that is quite popular in Asia as parents have high expectations of their children, but this is fairly common throughout the world. it is used by guardians as a form of motivation to excel. but the reality is quite different.

If for example a child is very talented but is not motivated enough then these can help him in excelling in his exams, so this can be used as an excuses to taunt them for giving their best. This also applies to any form of activity that a child might be struggling with, from sports to exams it helps in every field but these words of motivation do not always work on everyone because there are cases of stress that it brings to the children.

One such example is comparing your child to someone who is far better then them in study. Parent argue that it is to help the child in focusing on getting better grades but phycology says other ways as it causes pressure to built up mentally. If a child is not so good in study having to be compared to some one better will hurt them emotionally. Some children are not good in one thing but better at some thing else by motivating them on the wrong topic can lead them to confusion about them self.

Instead of keep on reminding them to work hard the parents should instead change the motto to trying their best no matter what the end result is. This plants a seed of hope and motivation in them that can boost their confidence, heling them succeed in the future

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the message, though the development is somewhat uneven. You identify the motivational aspect as an advantage and the potential for stress and confusion as disadvantages. However, the explanation of the advantages is slightly muddled, particularly in the first paragraph where the logic regarding 'excuses to taunt' is unclear. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear, logical reasoning. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments would benefit from more precise examples and a more formal academic tone.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'If for example' at the start of the second paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, some sentences lack clear logical links, such as the shift from discussing academic performance to general stress. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'on the other hand') would help create a smoother flow between your arguments and improve the overall coherence of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'motivation', 'expectations', and 'emotionally'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'phycology' (psychology), 'built up' (build up), and 'confusion about them self' (themselves). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning collocations and ensuring that you use academic terminology correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Parent argue'), missing articles, and incorrect word forms ('better then them' instead of 'better than them'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and incorrect capitalisation. To improve, proofread your work to ensure subject-verb agreement and correct the use of comparative structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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