Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Hard work is a key to success. If anyone wants to achieve a goal, he/she must work hard to achieve his/her goal. Some children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard sufficient. There are both advantages and disadvantages of children prefering this technique.
The paramount and advantageous factor of prefering children to work hard is that they become hardworking and will be punctual and steadfast to their aim in future. The second crucial factor is that they will start aiming a specific goal in their life. They would must become successful in their life and will touch sky depth in future by working hard. People would often advice to children to work hard to be successful in future. Some students are more clever than our think. They need just some seconds for preparation of their work and they would become successful in their life.
Sometime asking children to do hard work would lead to destruction because they may work more hard than their mind or physical strength and sometime fails in crucial and paramount paths of life. Asking children to study more leads to depression, anxiety and many other diseases because they cannot fulfil their requirements and when they fails, they consider them-self at the bottom stage of and society and due to depression their mental health also leads to distruction.
In conclusion, i would prefer that working hard sometime become crucial for success and in some other cases of life, it leads to distruction. But working hard is paramount for success.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'diseases' and 'destruction' is repetitive and lacks specific, logical examples to support the claims. While the position is clear, the explanation of why children might fail when told they can achieve anything is underdeveloped. To improve, you should focus on expanding your points with concrete examples or logical reasoning rather than repeating similar vocabulary like 'paramount' or 'destruction'. The essay covers all parts of the task, but the depth of analysis is limited, which prevents it from reaching a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive. Phrases like 'The paramount and advantageous factor' and 'The second crucial factor' are used to signal points, but the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Some students are more clever than our think', where the connection to the previous argument is weak. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the flow and logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely heavily on a few specific words, such as 'paramount', 'destruction', and 'successful', which are used repeatedly throughout the text. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'try hard sufficient' (should be 'try hard enough') and 'touch sky depth' (which is not a standard English idiom). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or varied vocabulary limits the score. To improve, try to use synonyms and learn common collocations to express your ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'prefering children to work hard' (should be 'encouraging children'), 'They would must become successful', and 'when they fails'. Subject-verb agreement and modal verb usage are inconsistent. While the errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. Focusing on basic sentence construction, correct verb forms, and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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