Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Hard work is no doubt a great value and guidance give their wards advice to imbibe it with hope for an optimistic outcome in all sphere of life. Regardless this could be not so good advice as we will subsequently look in to the ups and downs.

First, it is good to not just encourage children to work hard that they could achieve anything with being hardworking but this will also build confidence and optimism within children as they will approach life's challenges with confidence which is key and besides, children are too emotional to start bombarding them with the negative side of life which could utterly kill their confidence.

The downs of telling children that trying hard enough can get them anything could leave them unprepared for what might be ahead and also creating unnecessary stress for them that they cannot handle. As a result, their labour could be easily exploited when trying hard is not needed, this is because they are so hungry to becoming successful at whatever they do. This could also make them to be desperados, something we don't want to be identified with.

Trying hard is key but however, we should also teach our children strategy and the ability to accept failure not as losers but building blocks for the future. That is instilling in the children the value of not just resilience but also wisdom.

In Conclusion, the idea of trying hard as an ultimate and 100 percent path to success is key but should be laced with strategy as it could be considered half truth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. You have a clear position, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about children becoming 'desperados' is an interesting concept but is not fully explained or supported with concrete examples. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more detailed reasoning or illustrative examples. The conclusion is a bit brief and could have better summarised the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'First', 'As a result', and 'In Conclusion', to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly awkward or mechanical, such as 'Regardless this could be not so good advice'. Additionally, the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is precise will help improve the overall cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to express your ideas, including terms like 'imbibe', 'optimistic', 'resilience', and 'exploited'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'guidance give their wards' (should be 'guardians give their wards') and 'desperados' (which is slightly informal or misused in this context). To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that words are used in their correct context to convey your meaning more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'Regardless this could be not so good advice' and 'make them to be desperados'. There are also issues with punctuation and sentence fragments. While these errors do not generally impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and refining your use of complex structures to ensure they are grammatically sound.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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