Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It is a irrefutable that there are many culture across worldwide . I agree with notion that in some culture and traditions which teach children to achieve anything if they try hard . In below paragraphs we discuss both pros and cons of this statement .
On the one hand , there are vary merits of notion . Firstly cultures and tradition are most significance for our society . In addition to , it is our responsibilities that to maintain , follow and save our culture . There are many things that books can not teach all lessons of life but culture do . However , it teaches how to respect our old tradition with following our rituals that guided by god and ancestors . Furthermore , there are many stories that listened from our grandparents that how they live , manage the things at any curse , achieved their goals by believing themselves and working hard . Moreover childrens are good listeners and this is the time that cultures taught them what they want to achieve or even what their perspective of life and all things get by their hard work , discipline and kindness .
on the other hand , sometimes childrens get astray of their goals by peers that advertise false beliefs as well as rumours according to their cultures .
To conclude that there are many pros that outweigh cons . Society should take steps for those pupils that distracts the children for their culture and tradition.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response addresses the topic but fails to focus on the specific prompt. The prompt asks about the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Instead, the essay discusses the importance of culture and tradition in general. The arguments provided, such as 'cultures and tradition are most significance for our society', do not directly answer the question about the impact of the 'try hard' message. Consequently, the ideas are largely irrelevant to the specific task, leading to a significant lack of development regarding the actual prompt. The position is unclear because the content does not engage with the core premise of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'Furthermore', they are often used incorrectly or do not link ideas logically. For example, the transition to the second paragraph discusses culture in general rather than the advantages of the specific message mentioned in the prompt. Referencing is often unclear, and the connection between sentences is frequently disjointed. The conclusion is very brief and does not effectively summarize the main points or provide a clear final thought, making the overall structure feel mechanical and somewhat confusing.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and word formation, such as 'It is a irrefutable', 'vary merits', and 'childrens' (incorrect pluralization). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas, and the misuse of terms like 'curse' (likely meant 'circumstance') and 'pupils' (used to mean 'people') hinders clarity. The student relies on basic, often inaccurate, phrasing, which prevents the development of a sophisticated argument. To improve, the student needs to focus on accurate word forms and collocations relevant to the topic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('cultures... is', 'childrens get'), article usage ('a irrefutable'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, such as 'There are many stories that listened from our grandparents that how they live'. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors in basic syntax. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces before commas and periods. These errors are frequent and pervasive throughout the text, significantly affecting the reader's ability to follow the argument.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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