Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything in life if they try hard enough. Let's discuss whether this statement is correct or not, and all the advantages and disadvantages of this given statement.

I completely agree with this statement that, children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. As we all know that hard work is the key to success, working hard shrinks the distance between children and the goal they want to achieve in life. Parents told this to children because they have an experience of the life they spent. So, they are telling all this to children with the experience. Moreover, this is the statement if they understand they can achieve anything in life. For example, A student has exam after one week if he studies hard, he will definitely pass the examination.

Comparatively, there is another angle to understand this statement. Everything is not achievable by working hard the key is not to give up. For example, a child tries hard enough but didn't pass the examination this is sometimes luck, but this doesn't mean that he stops trying and if he doesn't loss hope and keep trying hard, he will definitely achieve success.

The conclusion of this statement is that, trying hard is the requirement of success but not everything is achievable through trying hard. In short just work hard and leave the rest on God. you have to believe that he will choose the best for you in every field of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the message. However, the development is quite limited. The arguments regarding the advantages are somewhat repetitive, focusing mainly on the idea that hard work leads to success. The disadvantages section is underdeveloped, as it shifts focus to luck and religious belief rather than exploring the psychological impact on children, such as the potential for disappointment or pressure. The position is clear, but the ideas lack the depth and extension required for a higher band score. To improve, you should provide more nuanced examples and explore the broader implications of this message on a child's development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the transition 'Comparatively, there is another angle' is a bit awkward in this context. Additionally, some sentences lack logical flow, such as the transition between the discussion of parents' experience and the example of a student's exam. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the connection between the conclusion and the previous points is weak. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'hard work is the key to success' and 'achieve anything' are used multiple times. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'shrinks the distance' (which is not a standard collocation in this context) and 'loss hope' (should be 'lose hope'). To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise, academic vocabulary and demonstrate a better grasp of collocations and idiomatic expressions related to the topic of personal development and ambition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('Parents told this to children'), missing articles, and punctuation errors (e.g., 'For example, A student...'). The sentence structure in the final paragraph is also somewhat fragmented. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring consistent verb tense usage would be highly beneficial for your future writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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