Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given topic brings up the question about pros and cons of telling children to work hard in order to achieve their goals or anything they desire.

Telling children that working hard will help them in achieving anything they desire is one of the best things we can do to keep them motivated for their challenges. Teachers and parents can play a big part in motivating our young generation because these are the only places they spent their most time at, many students lose interest after faliure or after not getting the outcome they decided or worked to achieve.

Here comes the part which is ignored by most people especially the parents. They ignore the interest of their child and being the parents they ignore the abilities of the child whether he will be able to do the task which is assigned to him/her, and ignoring their interest is one of the major things that are ignored.

It have some disadvantages that most parents pressurise their children instead of motivating them most children the burden gets soo worse that they lose their ability to perform lose of interest, lacks motivation, low self-esteem. We should guide such parents about such issues and to children enough pressure which they can easily withstand.

The moral is that we should let our children choose what they want in future and motivate them for and guide them about the rights and wrongs, motivating them to work hard is good for their future until you starts burdening them over their strength.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention motivation as an advantage and parental pressure as a disadvantage, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the points made. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph provides a clear, well-supported argument rather than just stating the points. The position is clear, but the overall structure of the argument needs more academic rigor and elaboration to fully satisfy the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and sometimes mechanical. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt. There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences. Some sentences are disjointed, such as 'It have some disadvantages that most parents pressurise their children instead of motivating them most children the burden gets soo worse'. Improving the use of transition signals (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'on the other hand') would significantly improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher levels. You rely on basic terms like 'big part', 'good', and 'things'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the burden gets soo worse' and 'ignoring their interest is one of the major things that are ignored'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and precise collocations. For example, instead of 'big part', use 'significant role', and instead of 'good', use 'beneficial' or 'advantageous'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('It have some disadvantages'), run-on sentences, and awkward phrasing ('these are the only places they spent their most time at'). The range of sentence structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple or slightly complex sentences with errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and articles. Proofreading for these common errors would help increase your score significantly.

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