Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argue in very few cultures that if children work hard they can easily achieve anything that they want. It is true that hard work helps people to get impossible thinks and to be a successful person there is no alternative way of working hard. Despite some merits there is also some drawbacks of this advice. This essay will discuss the both the advantages and disadvantages of this argument with relevant examples before reaching a logical conclusion.

One of the major advantages of working hard by children is that it increase the self-confident which is really needed to become a good and successful person. For instance, if a children unable to play football hard work helps effectively to become a good footballer like by working hard Cristiano Ronaldo became a successful sportsman. Additionally, this advice helps kids to build a strong mentality and not to loose hope easily. After developing these skills it is easy to win anything.

On the other hand, this advice also have some demerits and on of the main problems is that it mainly create pressure on children mentality especially for younger. This is because they feel very stressed to work hard at the beginning and sometimes it harms physically and mentally. Moreover, hard work can not help a child to achieve everything, they also need proper guidelines and support from their parents and teachers. Such as, if anybody told a children to get a good results in exams by alone it is impossible for him because working hard is not enough, he or she has to maintain a routine by their seniors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention self-confidence and mental resilience as advantages, and stress and the need for external guidance as disadvantages, these points are not fully explored. For instance, the example of Cristiano Ronaldo is relevant but lacks depth in explaining how the 'anything is possible' message specifically translates to his success. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by a more detailed explanation or a more sophisticated example. The position is clear, but the overall development remains somewhat superficial.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'it is often argue in very few cultures'. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the connection between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'mentality', 'demerits', and 'guidelines'. However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'impossible thinks' (should be 'impossible things'), 'loose hope' (should be 'lose hope'), and 'create pressure on children mentality' (should be 'create pressure on children's mental health'). These errors do not impede communication, but they indicate a limited range of vocabulary for more complex or abstract discussions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('this advice also have', 'it increase the self-confident') and article usage ('a children'). There are also issues with sentence construction, such as 'if anybody told a children to get a good results'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency and accuracy of your writing.

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