Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued in very few cultures that if children work hard they can easily achieve anything that they want. It is true that hard work helps people to get impossible thinks and to be a successful person there is no alternative way of working hard. Despite some merits there is also some drawbacks of this advice. This essay will discuss the both the advantages and disadvantages of this argument with relevant examples before reaching a logical conclusion.

One of the major advantages of working hard by children is that it increase the self-confident which is really needed to become a good and successful person. For instance, if a children unable to play football hard work helps effectively to become a good footballer like by working hard Cristiano Ronaldo became a successful sportsman. Additionally, this advice helps kids to build a strong mentality and not to loose hope easily. After developing these skills it is easy to win anything.

On the other hand, this advice also have some demerits and on of the main problems is that it mainly create pressure on children mentality especially for younger. This is because they feel very stressed to work hard at the beginning and sometimes it harms physically and mentally. Moreover, hard work can not help a child to achieve everything. Such as, if a children interested in football and not interested in cricket, so working hard in cricket is a waste of time and effort for him or her. However, if he only focus on football he easily doing well without any doubt.

In conclusion, although working hard helps children to improve their confidence and to build a strong mentality but sometimes it harms them physically and mentally. Additionally, working hard in wrong ways waste their time and effort.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention self-confidence and mental resilience as advantages, and stress and misdirected effort as disadvantages, the arguments lack depth. For instance, the example of Cristiano Ronaldo is relevant but could be better integrated to explain the broader concept of 'achieving anything.' The conclusion is a bit repetitive, merely restating the points made in the body paragraphs rather than synthesizing them. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more nuanced reasoning and clear, logical connections to the prompt's core premise.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Additionally,' 'On the other hand,' and 'For instance.' However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'Such as, if a children interested...' which is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in grammatically correct contexts will enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'mentality,' 'demerits,' and 'effort.' However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'impossible thinks' (should be 'impossible things') and 'increase the self-confident' (should be 'increase self-confidence'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely on basic phrasing. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that word forms (e.g., noun vs. adjective) are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this advice also have some demerits'), article usage (e.g., 'a children'), and pluralization (e.g., 'some drawbacks' is correct, but 'a children' is not). While the meaning is usually clear, these persistent errors prevent the text from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with singular/plural nouns and verb conjugations, to ensure your complex sentences are error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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