Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
IT IS OFTEN ARGUED THAT IN MANY SOCIETIES THESE DAYS, PEOPLE ARE CONCERNED ABOUT THAT CHILDREN ARE FREQUENTLY TOLD THAT THEY CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING IF THEY BUCKLED DOWN. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS BOTH THE MERITS AND DEMERITS OF THIS DEVELOPMENT.
ONE MAJOR ADVANTAGE OF THIS TREND IS THAT CHILDREN CAN ACHIVE ANYTHING THROUGH HARD WORK IS THAT IT CAN MAKE THEM MORE CONFIDENT THAT IS REASONS THEY TAKE NEW CHALLENGES. THIS MEANS THAT WHEN CHILDREN BELIEVE THAT THEIR EFFORTS CAN LEAD YO SUCCESS, THEY ARE LESS AFRAID OF FAILURE AND ARE LIKELY TO NEW EXEPERIMENT, LEARN NEW SKILLS TO ACHIVE THEIR GOALS. MOREOVER, THIS MINDSET ENCOURAGE THEM TO THINK MORE CREATIVELY. TO EXEMPLIFY, MANY SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENEURS AND RESEARCHS EXPERIENCED REPEATED FAILURES BEFORE ACHIVING THIER GOALS. ONE PROMINENT EXAMPLE IS THOMAS EDISON FAILED NEARLY 999 TIMES ON THE EXPERIEMENT OF THE ELECTRIC LIGHT. CONSEQUENTLY, LONG TERM HARD WORK AND CREATIVITY CONTRIBUTE TO NEW INVENTIONS AND DISCOVERIES.
ON THE OTHER HAND, THERE ARE ALSO SOME DEMERITS. THE MAIN DRAWBACK IS THAT CONSTANTLY TELLING THAT THEY CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING MAY MAKE THEM OVERLY CONFIDENT. THIS CAN LEADS TO THEM LESS EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR FAILURE. ADDITIONALLY, BUILD EARLY CONFIDENCE IN CHILDREN SIGNIFICANTLY IGNORING FACTORS SUCH AS NATURAL ABILITY AND OPPORTUNITIES. FOR INSTANCE, A CHILDREN WHO RECIEVES HIGH GRADES BECAUSE PARENTS PROVIDE PRIVATE TUTION AND EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES. WHILE, CHILD ENTERS A HIGHLY COMPETITIVE UNIVERSITY WHERE RECEIVES POOR GRADES.
TO CONCLUDE, IN THIS COMPETITVE ERA, IN MY INTERPERSONAL OPINION, CHILDREN CAN HAVE ADCANTAGE AND DISADVANTAGE ABOUT THE ABOVE PHENOMENON BECAUSE IT MAY LEAD OVERCONFIDENCE THUS CHILDREN SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED TO BELIEVE IN THEIR ABILITIES.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The advantage section is well-supported with the example of Thomas Edison, but the disadvantage section is less developed and contains some logical gaps, particularly in the example regarding private tuition and university grades, which feels slightly disconnected from the main argument about 'overconfidence'. To reach a higher band, ensure that every point is fully explained and directly linked to the core prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'To exemplify', and 'On the other hand'. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'that is reasons they take new challenges'. Additionally, some sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which occasionally disrupts the flow. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the conclusion is somewhat weak and does not effectively summarize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'ACHIVE', 'EXEPERIMENT', 'THIER', 'RECIEVES', 'TUTION', 'ADCANTAGE'). While these do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. There is an attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'entrepreneurs' and 'phenomenon', but the overall control is inconsistent. To improve, focus on accuracy in spelling and ensure that words are used in the correct collocations, such as 'interpersonal opinion' which is an incorrect usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'This can leads to them less emotionally prepared' (subject-verb agreement and missing verb) and 'a children who recieves' (plural/singular mismatch). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors indicates a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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