Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In numerous traditions, young children are advised that they can obtain everything if they work hard. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of such teachings.
There are various merits of teaching children to work hard. Firstly, children get motivation and encouraged to push they boundaries to learn new skills. For instance, a children who got back support from parents is likely to achieve more academic and career goals rather than a student who is often get bullied. Moreover, these children will try to develop some life skills which can be beneficial and implemented in practical life. A student who had learned some extra skills can get more job opportunities than who does not have support of anyone or who did not even tried to gain extra knowledge.
On the other hand, there are some demerits of passing on these kind of message to the children. If these types of message will be passed on to children they might feel pressure rather than encouraged. For example, students do not have similar learning skills and interest, if parents will motivate children for sports who is interested in arts will not be able to do good in sports. Students may feel pressurized instead of encouraged. Sometimes, teaching such lessons to children can down their moral and they may feel misunderstood.
In conclusion, there are several advantages of children of encourage them to work hard such as student will try to get out of their comfort zone and explore real world. At the same time children may not be able to utilize the advantage of parents support and feel pressurized and misunderstood.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention motivation and skill development as advantages, the explanation remains superficial. Similarly, the disadvantages regarding pressure are relevant but could be better supported with more nuanced examples. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the argument is more characteristic of a Band 6.0, as some points are repetitive and lack the necessary extension required for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is somewhat mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as in the conclusion. The referencing is generally clear, but the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother to achieve a higher level of cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher bands. You rely on common words like 'good', 'get', and 'things'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'down their moral' (should be 'lower their morale') and 'passing on these kind of message' (should be 'these kinds of messages'). To improve, you should aim to use more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include 'a children who got back support' (should be 'a child who receives support') and 'who does not have support of anyone or who did not even tried' (should be 'who does not have anyone's support or who has not even tried'). These errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage are noticeable and prevent the essay from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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