Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Yes it is Said in Some Culture, to the children that they can achieve anything in life if the try hard enough. Its advantage is the willpower of the children shouldn't be less and they should never feel demotivate. As my considuation we should encouage our upcomping generation our children to work hard.

If they study hard, work hard that's obvious that they'll be going to achieve anything in their life so then they can live the lavish life or can do whatever they want and its disdvantage is that we should not premise little school children to work hard as they are living their childhood let them enjoy it but they should also learn something new.

hard as they are living their childhood

let them enjoy it but they should also

learn something new.

and if students/children will study hard

they can start up their business or can

get work at their favourite company

or could get a chance in studying or

working in their dream country.

if they will work hard get a good job or start their business they will earn good amount of money and after that they can live a lavish life in any country with can do whatever they wish they can buy their favourite car, clothes, accessories and many more things.

But make sure the our children should not be greedy, the greed for money because sometimes thin could be a situation that they start doing something illegal could do that is.

We should give them a message that everything should be made from their hard work not from people works or cheating.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, but the development is limited and lacks depth. The ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, and the argument regarding the disadvantages is particularly weak and repetitive. While the prompt asks for a discussion on the impact of telling children they can achieve anything, the response focuses heavily on the benefits of hard work rather than the psychological implications of this specific message. The position is clear, but the supporting points are underdeveloped and lack the necessary academic tone required for Task 2. To improve, you should provide more nuanced arguments and ensure each point is fully explained with clear examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. The paragraphing is inconsistent, with some sentences appearing as fragments or isolated lines, which disrupts the flow of ideas. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs logically. While the reader can generally follow the writer's intent, the progression of ideas is mechanical and repetitive. The use of referencing is often unclear, making it difficult to track the relationship between the advantages and disadvantages discussed. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, relying on simple terms like 'work hard' and 'lavish life' throughout the text. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard phrasing, such as 'as my considuation' (likely meaning 'in my consideration') and 'premise little school children'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition. Focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to child development and education to improve the sophistication of your expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'if the try hard enough'), sentence fragments, and incorrect punctuation. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some attempts at complex structures that are often faulty. For example, 'if they will work hard get a good job' lacks proper grammatical structure. To improve, you need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and clause connectors, before attempting more complex grammatical forms. Proofreading for basic errors is essential.

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