Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some customs, kids are raised with the belief that everything is achievable if they try hard enough. This essay will talk about this doctrine's advantages and drawbacks when fed to children.

On the bright side, telling children that they are capable of anything is often motivating, it creates a positive self believe, as well as given them drive and ambition to fulfill their goal. In this aspect, trust in kids' own capability is the most important element as it is detrimental to their worldly outlook. For instance, when facing a problem, often times, kids who are raised with this belief persists and try to overcome it. They believe that they are capable to solve the problem, as that is what their culture dictate them to be.

As far as the benefits exists, there is also bound to be drawbacks to the adoption of this radical self sufficiency ideals. If taken to the extreme, kids might feel demotivated, burnout, fearing failure, and even feeling like they're not good enough, as there is no ceiling to what enough is. As a kid, I was also raised with this set of belief. The initial healthy motivation I once had, turned to poison as soon as I compare myself to others. Upon seeing someone with better achievement, I turned inward and told myself that I didn't attempt hard enough. This eventually turned to self hate and demotivation, why bother trying at all as I will never be enough.

In conclusion, telling kids that they can achieve anything in life if they try hard enough have a lot of benefit, especially for internal motivation, as well as disadvantages, when the motivation is not managed properly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are extended with personal experience, which adds depth. However, the development is slightly uneven; while the disadvantages are explored with good detail, the advantages section could be more thoroughly supported with broader examples beyond just 'motivation'. The conclusion is a bit brief and could have better summarised the main points to provide a more robust final statement. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'On the bright side', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, there are minor issues with referencing and flow; for example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is generally flexible, though occasionally slightly mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally sufficient for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'doctrine', 'radical', and 'self-sufficiency'. However, there are several word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'positive self believe' (should be 'belief'), 'detrimental to their worldly outlook' (the word 'detrimental' is used incorrectly here, as it usually implies harm), and 'set of belief' (should be 'beliefs'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('benefits exists', 'culture dictate') and incorrect verb forms ('given them drive'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some comma splices, such as in the second paragraph: '...is often motivating, it creates a positive...'. While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of the main arguments.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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