Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many traditions, youngsters are often told that they can have everything if they compete hard enough. Therefore, this narrative contains advantages and disadvantages for youth.

The advantages may include free learning, creative work, result of choice, and smooth, easy and functional environment. In cultures in which children are motivated for hard work contributes more than the other cultures where no words of encouragement spoken. Consequently, People become more competent in this kind of environment, by understanding the message in a positive sense. Similarly, people do not look for ifs and buts after an encouraging word. Therefore, more chances of pure cream of the society backed by efforts and experience are possible within such narratives. The specific advantages may be in form of creative personalalities around the society. As for as evidence is concerned about motivational ideas that have raised the cultures more effectively and productively is longevity and peacefulness of traditions. While, there are many other developments can be made, which include youngsters' enhnacing interest and approach for the competitive exams.

However, there are some possible disadvantages which may occur as this message can lead youngsters to some unusual things to do such as jumping from a high rise building, resultantly it will cause death. While, children may take the statement in a negative way of thinking as well for example, a youngster may start thinking deeply about something that is alarming in nature can lead to a possible mental distress to him/her. Following the statement youth can dereal from their normal state of being in society as well.

In conclusion, the message gievn to children in many cultures regarding hardwork and dedication is totally in good faith and well advantageous, but it may also have disadvantages in some angles in the assumption of the narrative.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the advantages are mentioned, they are presented as a list of vague concepts like 'free learning' and 'creative work' without sufficient explanation or real-world examples. The disadvantages section is more specific but relies on extreme, somewhat illogical examples, such as 'jumping from a high rise building,' which weakens the overall argument. To reach a higher band, you should provide more balanced, realistic, and well-reasoned arguments that directly relate to the psychological or social impact of this message on children.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While you use some cohesive devices like 'consequently' and 'however,' they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not effectively link the ideas. For instance, the transition 'As for as evidence is concerned' is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'pure cream of the society' and 'dereal from their normal state.' These phrases are not standard English and impede the clarity of your message. You attempt to use some academic vocabulary, but it is often used incorrectly. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using words in their correct context rather than attempting to use complex-sounding phrases that do not fit the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include incorrect verb forms ('no words of encouragement spoken'), missing articles, and awkward sentence construction ('there are many other developments can be made'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence structure prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and sentence construction will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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