Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In any culture parents, teachers or guardians encourage children by telling them that you can any achieve by thoroughly hardworking and determination. This type of motivation message help people to develop dedication toward their work. While, it is like unrealistic assumption that only efforts can achieve anything or success on their life.

One major advantage of this message is that it build up perseverance and self-confident level. Children believe that strong efforts can changes their future life or overcome any problems instead of giving up without any doing up-hill task. It encourage them to set long term goal and it can achieve by moral values. It helps them to developed healthy mind set toward goals. For example, a student who initially struggle with mathematics, rather than giving up they may doing continues practices and become improvement in mathematics and achieve academic success. It teach that failure is part of success life.

On the other hand, telling children that they can achieve by only hard working efforts, it can seldomly misleading. Success is depends on several factors like opportunity, our fortune, financial circumstance, dedications, interest or natural abilities. If children work hard, despite of they fail. They may blame themselves or feel disappointment. For instance, a younger boy has a dream to become national athlete, unfortunately his physical disability can not full fill their dream.

In conclusion, although encouraging children to believe in hard working is essential. However, only efforts cannot overcome all limitation. Parents should teach their children efforts should put in right direction and also recognising their limitation and also considered some fortune.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear from the introduction, and the main body paragraphs provide relevant arguments, such as the development of perseverance versus the potential for disappointment due to external factors. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which occasionally obscures the depth of the argument. For instance, the example of the athlete is relevant but could be more effectively linked to the broader discussion of 'limitations.' To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more precise reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the other hand' and 'For instance,' though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or are misused, such as 'While, it is like unrealistic assumption.' Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences is sometimes interrupted by grammatical inaccuracies. The progression of ideas is logical, but the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated linking words to improve the cohesion between and within paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there is a lack of precision and some noticeable errors in word formation and collocation. Phrases like 'thoroughly hardworking' and 'success life' are non-standard. While the student attempts to use less common vocabulary (e.g., 'perseverance,' 'circumstance'), the frequent errors in word choice (e.g., 'seldomly misleading' instead of 'misleading') indicate a limited control over lexical features. To improve, focus on learning collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and syntax that occasionally impede readability. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('message help,' 'success is depends') and incorrect verb forms ('they may doing continues practices'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the high frequency of errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the clarity of the writing.

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