Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Culture plays significant role in diversity. Cultures are important to the our identity and nationality. some cultures are quite often that children achieve anything as longer they work hard. Although this message to motivate and confident to the children. Sometimes children are a lots of pressure and stress. This essay will be discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this approach.

There are several advantages to the their achieve children. One of the major advantages of giving child boost your confidence. As well as they believe in the your abilities and they faced some challenges then overcome easily. Second most important is the increased motivation. some culture children show that the boost your motivation for any situations. Like child is weak english, that time your parents can be encourage to the practise everyday. As a result, child may become a more motivation.

Another advantages are a developed a positive attitude. They learn to the mistakes and failures are part of learning. They improves preseverance.

There are few disadvantages. Firstly they create unrealistic expectations. The hard work is in not guarantee for the success.

Thus, included a natural talent, opportunities are always matters. There are a lots of pressure and stress creates. they always constantly feel strees and negative effect for child mind. For instance, some parents forced in the medical filed but children do not clear this abilities but parents can forceful select the field . As a result is in negative impact of children mind and a pressure.

In a conclusion, said children that they can achieve their goals through a hard work can make motivate. Nevertheless, do not forced pressurized the children. I believe the balances is important with children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention confidence and motivation as advantages, the explanations are brief and lack depth. Similarly, the disadvantages regarding unrealistic expectations and pressure are introduced but not fully explored with sophisticated reasoning. The position is clear, but the overall response feels somewhat underdeveloped. To improve, ensure that each point is supported by a clear explanation and a relevant example, rather than just listing ideas. The conclusion is present but could be more effectively linked to the main arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Second most important is the increased motivation' or 'Thus, included a natural talent'. There are also issues with referencing; for example, 'their achieve children' is unclear. The progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing, making the flow feel disjointed. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that pronouns clearly refer back to the intended nouns.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'forced in the medical filed' instead of 'pressured into the medical field' and 'the balances is important'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with word forms (e.g., 'streess', 'preseverance'). To improve, try to learn collocations (words that naturally go together) and pay closer attention to spelling and the correct form of words in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('The hard work is in not guarantee'), incorrect preposition use, and missing articles. For example, 'As a result is in negative impact of children mind' is grammatically incorrect and hinders clarity. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors means that the reader must work to interpret your intended message. Focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense and pluralisation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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