Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

IN SOME CULTURES CHILDRENS ARE ENCOURAGED BY TELLING THEM THAT THEY CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING THEY WANT. SOMETIMES IT CAN BE BOTH WAYS LIKE THERE'S MERITS AND DRAWBACKS AS WELL.CHILDRENS ARE REALLY INNOCENT BY NATURE BUT GIVING THIS KIND OF MESSEAGE TO THEM SOMETIMES ITS GOOD FOR THEM AND SOMETIMES IT CAN NOT BE GOOD ENOUGH.

ONE MAJOR ADVANTAGE IS IT CAN BE REALLY USEFULL FOR THEIR DETERMINATIONS . IF CHILDRENS CAN FACE SEVERAL KIND OF PROBLEMS ON THEIR OWN THEY LEARN ABOUT HOW TO OVERCOME FROM THE PROBLEMS BY THEIR OWN. WITHOUT GETTING SOMEONE HELP THEY CAN EASILY GET OUT OF THIS KINDA SITUATION IF THEY BECAME BRAVE ENOUGH TO FACES THEIR PROBLEMS .CHILDEREN ARE ALWAYS KEEN ABOUT LERNING NEW THINGS SO IF THEY WANT THEY WILL DO ANYTHING. BY THIS THEY CAN EASILY GET OVER THE SITUATION IT CAN HELP TO INCREASE THEIR COGNITIVE CAPABILITY.

HOWEVER, THIS MESSAGE CAN CREATE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.HARD WORK DOES NOT ALWAYS LEADS THEM TO THE SUCCEED. SOMETIMES IT CAN BE LESSON ALSO. SOMETIMES ALL THAT FACTORS CAN BE HARMFULL FOR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH.DUE TO THIS ADVICE THEY FEEL FRUSTRATED AND UPSET BECAUSE OF FAILURE.WE NEED TO ADVICE THEM TO DO THE HARDWORK BUT DO NOT DEPENDS ON THE VICTORY. THE LESS THEY EXPECT THE MORE THEY BECAME. THERE'S SAYING THAT EXPECTATIONS HURTS MORE.

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT CHILDREN'S SHOULD BE TAUGHT SUCCESS AND FAILURE ALSO SO THEY CAN LEARN THAT NOT EVERYTHING THAT HARD WORKS PAYOFFS ALL TIMES. LIKE WE SAYS "THERE IS WAY WHERE THERE IS WILL" JUST DO IT ACCORDING YOUR CAPABILITIES AND DONT FEEL PRESSURIZE AT ALL .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'cognitive capability' is vague and not clearly linked to the prompt's core theme of achievement. The position is clear, but the explanation of why this message might be harmful is underdeveloped, relying on general statements rather than specific examples. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete illustrations of how this message impacts a child's development, ensuring that each point is fully explored rather than just mentioned.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'sometimes' is used four times in the first paragraph). There are also issues with referencing; for example, 'all that factors' is unclear in its connection to the previous sentence. The transition between the advantages and disadvantages is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would significantly improve the flow and logical progression of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good' and 'bad' or 'really useful'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'depend on the victory' instead of 'rely on success' and 'feel pressurize' instead of 'feel pressured'. Spelling errors, such as 'messeage', 'usefull', and 'childerens', are frequent and occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas with greater clarity and academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and pervasive. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'hard work does not always leads', 'childrens are'), incorrect pluralization ('childrens'), and awkward phrasing ('if they became brave enough to faces their problems'). While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are persistent throughout the text. You should focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural nouns to improve the accuracy of your writing.

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