Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many cultures, people tell their children that they can achieve success if they put in the required effort. The advantages of this approach are that the children will become disciplined and would become successful. On the other hand, the disadvantages include hopelessness in certain scenerios and not preferring smartwork.

The primary benefit is that children will always try to work hard and stay consistent. No matter how difficult the situation gets they will never give up. For instance, many successful athletes share one common advice which is to not give up and they learnt it from their parents. Furthermore, another advantage is that when people know that everything is achievable they never make excuses at the time of failure. As a result, they never hesitate to choose a task based on its difficulty. Many professional fighters always say that they fight because of their love for the sport.

In many situations the outcome is beyond the control of a person. For example, an esports athlete may fail in a tournament solely because of his team. In such situations, hard work do not always bring positive results. Hence, children should be taught to deal with failures as well. Similarly, a lot of tasks require smart work instead of working day and night on them. Some projects may require using a technique, which is already deployed instead of making a new one. In order to solve a problem, a professional should plan about the procedure of a work activity before starting to work on it.

Putting efforts in doing a task doesnot always bring success. It can make a person consistent and successful. However, in certain scenerios such a lesson can cause children to lose heart. Apart from this, many situations demand a person to use their brain instead of putting effort blindly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits are supported with examples like athletes, the disadvantages—specifically the concept of 'smart work'—are introduced but not fully explored or linked back to the core message of the prompt. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, restating points rather than synthesising the argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear reasoning and a direct connection to the prompt's central theme of parental messaging.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'For instance', and 'Similarly' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, though the connection between the final paragraph and the preceding points is somewhat abrupt, making the overall structure feel a bit disjointed by the end.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at topic-specific language like 'esports athlete' and 'tournament'. However, there is a reliance on simpler phrasing, and some word choices are slightly imprecise, such as 'not preferring smartwork' or 'putting effort blindly'. There are also minor spelling errors like 'scenerios' (scenarios). To improve, you should aim for more sophisticated collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to express nuanced ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are recurring grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('hard work do not always bring', 'doesnot' as one word) and minor punctuation slips. The control of complex structures is inconsistent. To achieve a higher score, focus on eliminating these basic errors and increasing the variety of complex sentence forms, such as using more conditional or passive constructions to add depth to your arguments.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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