Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In some cultures, children are told to work hard to achieve what they had desired. But as every coin has two sides, this belief is also followed by advantages and disadvantages. There are several reasons supporting this fact and several others contrasting with this fact.

Children are often guided by their parents, elders, teachers etc that hard work is the only thing that could cast a spell for achieving success or any other thing in our life At some limits, this concept is true. For example ,if a student is very weak in maths , by working hard on it , by practicing it more and more will help him/her to perform well in maths rather than not applying right efforts. Hard work seeks determination, constant focus, efforts, concentration, time and patience.

However, there are also some disadvantages. The biggest problem is that children may start believing that hard work is the only factor that provides success. In reality, success can also depend on opportunities, financial conditions, natural abilities and sometimes luck. If a child works very hard but still fails to achieve a particular goal, they may feel disappointed or believe that they are not good enough. This can put unnecessary pressure on them. For instance, a child may study for many hours to become a professional athlete, but physical ability and other circumstances also play an important role.

In my opinion, children should be encouraged to work hard, but they should also understand that effort does not guarantee success in every situation. Parents and teachers should teach them to learn from failure and choose realistic goals.

In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve anything through hard work can build confidence and determination, but it may also create unrealistic expectations. Therefore, this message should be given in a balanced way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position and discussing both advantages and disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and logically developed, such as the point about the psychological impact of failure when hard work does not yield results. The essay maintains a consistent focus on the prompt throughout. To reach a higher band, the student could provide more nuanced examples or explore the societal implications of this message in greater depth, as some points are slightly generalized. Overall, the task is well-covered with a clear, balanced perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to link ideas. While the structure is sound, some transitions between sentences could be more sophisticated to improve the flow. For example, the opening paragraph is a bit repetitive in its phrasing. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and the logical flow is maintained throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally appropriate and sufficient for the task. The student uses some effective phrases like 'cast a spell for achieving success' and 'unrealistic expectations'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'hard work seeks determination' (which should be 'requires' or 'demands') and 'perform well in maths rather than not applying right efforts'. The range is adequate, but more precise, academic vocabulary would elevate the response. The spelling is accurate throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'children are often guided by their parents, elders, teachers etc that hard work is the only thing' (missing 'to believe') and 'by practicing it more and more will help him/her' (incorrect subject-verb structure). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some spacing issues around commas. Despite these errors, the meaning is always clear, and the errors do not impede communication. A greater variety of complex grammatical structures would improve the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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