Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is a firm belief, anything can be achieved by working hard. And parents teach the children from the childhood to do so.
In my perspective, the only key to success is hard work. Anything could be achieved by working hard and consistency. Life is just the name of hustle. So, the children who are taught to work hard from the childhood must achieve their goals one day.
The hard work does not surely gives success in all the cases but at least you can learn while hard working from the mistakes and hurdles. And learning never goes waste. If it does not help you on spot it may help you somewhere in future in some other case. External factors are also applied such as financial conditions, environment, surroundings and some other factors too. To justify, If a person is trying to start A big software company, how is it possible to do without a single penny in your pocket or any investor available.
As an example, we can see that most of the successful people of the world became successful by working hard day and night and suffering all the hurdles that tried to block their pathway. If Gram Bell has stopped the hard work there would be no telephone today. And no one would have remembered him. If Quid e Azam would not have worked hard there would be no presence of pakistan today.
In conclusion, hard work gives learning even if it does not geruntee. And learning leads to the success.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of teaching children that hard work leads to success. However, the development is uneven. While you mention the benefits of learning from failure, the disadvantages are only briefly touched upon through the mention of 'external factors' like financial conditions. The argument lacks depth, particularly regarding the potential psychological impact on children if they fail despite their efforts. To reach a higher band, you should balance the discussion more equally and provide more nuanced examples of why this message might be harmful or unrealistic in certain contexts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical. Transitions are basic (e.g., 'In my perspective', 'To justify', 'As an example'), and some sentences feel disconnected, such as the opening paragraph which lacks a clear thesis statement. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and the logical progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by short, choppy sentences. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing like 'hard work' and 'successful'. There are also some awkward collocations and errors, such as 'geruntee' (guarantee) and 'Gram Bell' (Graham Bell). While your meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated vocabulary and the presence of spelling errors limit your score. Try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and ensure accurate spelling of key terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Examples include 'The hard work does not surely gives success' (subject-verb agreement), 'from the childhood' (article usage), and 'If Gram Bell has stopped' (conditional tense error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with sentence fragments. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and the proper formation of conditional sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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