Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In society , teenagers are often told that they can acquire any thing if they work hard till.While, there are many benefits according to the kids preferences and there are several drawbacks.
On the one hand, there are several gains its totally depend on pupils thinking. Firstly,children go to school for abundant purpose educational department build their children character, reputation and offer lot of facility in their future. Children perform different activities in school and our homes according to their efficiency level they play indoor and outdoor activities and deposit our full efforts on particular tasks few kids won match and enjoy our victory and other remember our mistakes and desire to try best in another match. As a result, their confidence level boost on daily bases and at the end they devote our full energy on activity, stay positive, work hard and after that they enjoy their whole journey.
On the other hand, there are ample drawbacks according to the situation. In the commence, kids devote their own potential on various topic at the end they do not succeed after that they loss our confidence, potential, time, motivation. Consequently, they want to play and perform straight forward activities and they start work on negative thing such as corruption, gambling, robbery, fraud. Numerous individual believe that smart work is extremely significant than hard work there are many reasons behind this happening.
In conclusion, work hard play a crucial role in the development of children While, parent take initiative and provide equipment and gadget according to their need.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is limited and often unclear. For instance, the argument regarding 'corruption, gambling, robbery' as a consequence of failing to achieve goals is a significant leap in logic that is not well-supported. The ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, and the connection between the initial premise and the resulting arguments is weak. To improve, you should focus on providing clearer, more logical explanations for your points rather than listing loosely related concepts. The position is identifiable, but the lack of depth prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is often mechanical or confusing. While you use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'Consequently', the internal logic of sentences is frequently broken. For example, the sentence 'In the commence, kids devote their own potential on various topic at the end they do not succeed' lacks proper punctuation and logical connectors, making it difficult to follow the progression of thought. Referencing is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of pronouns like 'our' when referring to children, which creates confusion for the reader.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often used inaccurately. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'abundant purpose', 'deposit our full efforts', and 'In the commence'. These errors occasionally impede communication, as the intended meaning is obscured by the misuse of words. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to express more complex ideas precisely. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that the words you choose fit the context of the sentence accurately. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary will also help you express your arguments more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'work hard play a crucial role'), incorrect pronoun usage ('our' instead of 'their'), and missing articles. Sentence structures are often repetitive or fragmented, and punctuation is inconsistent, which makes the text difficult to parse. While there is an attempt at complex sentences, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using articles correctly. Proofreading for these fundamental errors will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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