Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is strongly believed that children are asked to do hard work enough to achieve anything in their life. That have both advantages and disadvantages that may impact in both positively and negatively on the life of child. This essay will focus on both of the aspects.

One of the most significant advantage of this message is that the child may take every task seriously to achieve all the best in his life and prevent all the distractions that are coming into his way. It is a crucial fact that children are very sensitive toward their life. They follow what the see and learn from their elders. For instance, if a child learn to be kind towards everyone it will impose a positive impact on his life and the other in the surrounding. The child doing hard work and focusing on the specific target will achieve a lot in his life.

Despite this it may impose a negative impact on his life too if the child focus on something that is impossible to achieve will lead him to decline on his focus and also his social life is badly deteriorated. For example, if a child started to work hard to achieve something in his life and ignoring his social life like his friends and other activities ,it will have an adverse affect on his life in future.

In conclusion, asking children to do hard work to achieve any thing in his life has both advantage as to stay focused on specific tasks and also the disadvantage of deteriorated social life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the benefit of focus and the drawback of social isolation, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the example about kindness is not directly relevant to the core argument of 'achieving anything through hard work.' To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations and concrete examples that directly support your points. The position is clear, but the overall development remains basic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices like 'One of the most significant advantage,' 'Despite this,' and 'In conclusion.' However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'That have both advantages' at the start, which lacks a clear referent. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transitions between sentences could be smoother to create a more natural flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on common words and phrases like 'do hard work,' 'achieve anything,' and 'positive impact.' There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'decline on his focus' and 'deteriorated social life,' which sound unnatural. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to child development and psychology. The current range is sufficient to communicate your meaning, but it does not demonstrate the flexibility expected at a band 7 or above.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'That have both advantages' (subject-verb agreement), 'if a child learn' (verb form), and 'adverse affect' (confusing 'affect' with 'noun form effect'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with comma usage and sentence boundaries. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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