Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Childhood is a age which is believed as the building phase of anyone's life and it might decide the fate of life if not nurtured well. There is no alternative for hard work is followed since ages in many cultures and children are believed that they can achieve anything with the help of hardwork. In thisto essay I will describe pros and cons related to this with suitable examples and illustrations.

Firstly, if a child has decided to achieve any goal in his/her life than they should work hard accordingly on that thing and necessary efforts should be undertaken to conquer that goal. If there is no goal in a child's life then there are chances that he/she might not succeed in life. Secondly, there is no alternative to hardwork in certain conditions and they are ought to work hard in order to achieve their goals. Moreover, this process make them firm regarding their goal and they cam achieve anything in their life if they use this as a weapon in their life.

In this paragraph i will highlight some negatives regarding this. This thought of making children believe that try hard might become traumatizing for children as it is not always necessary that a child might achieve his/her goals even after trying 100%. In such instance, it may cause a traumatizing experience and can lead to negative thought in a child's brain and as well as the child might feel reluctant to try hard again in their life regarding any goal.

To conclude, I think this thought has its equal importance on both the sides as it has its similar positive and negative impact on both the aspects of this topic

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding the 'traumatizing' effect of failure is a good point, but it lacks specific examples or a deeper explanation of how this impacts a child's long-term development. The introduction is a bit repetitive, and the conclusion is vague, merely stating that the topic has 'equal importance' without summarizing the main points effectively. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples or real-world scenarios to support your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'in this paragraph' or 'firstly/secondly'. Some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the conclusion where the summary of the two sides is quite generic. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph flows logically into the next would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'achieve any goal' and 'work hard', which are repeated throughout the text. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'a age which is believed as the building phase'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to child development and psychological outcomes, and ensure that you use words in their correct context to avoid minor inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have several grammatical errors, such as 'a age' instead of 'an age', 'they are ought to' (incorrect modal usage), and 'this process make them' (subject-verb agreement error). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to distract the reader. You should focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of modal verbs to improve your control over sentence construction.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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