Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that in some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. There are many advantages and disadvantages of this argument. I will discuss both in detail.

On one hand, in some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything they want if they try hard. If some cultures make their youth's mind to achieve anything by their hard work it should enhance the teenagers thinking way towards something ambitious. Their youngsters spend their time in right way instead of wasting their time in wrong side. This kind of motivation also builds a society which is ambitious and wealthy equally. For example, if we take a look at growing economies we should realize that they can often focus on hard work at schools and colleges at their children to make them ambitious and also ask them to set some definite goals and work for them.

On the other hand, there are many disadvantages of this act like if we force some children to work hard for something they can take it up to their heads and remain always worried about their goals and the think they have to achieve. Additionally, they should not concentrate properly on their studies and other physical activities. These students also suffer from huge kind of health issues. For example, stress symptoms, growth stop and other focusing factors. For instance, when I was a child my parents always argues me that you will have to become a wealthy person in future and I was remained always worried about my future even in my childhood and then later I could lost my focus on my studies and many other mental problems, such as headache, numbness and lack of confidence.

To conclude, making ambitious mind is a good thing for doing something better in future, but we should not stuff their head with everything they have to do at first. Personally, I believe that we should not argue our youth to take up everything speedily but slowly and steady. Consequently, there are advantages if we do the things in right way and also there are a lot of problems for children if we can do it in unmanaged way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on advantages is a bit repetitive, focusing primarily on 'ambition' and 'hard work' without exploring broader societal or psychological nuances. The disadvantages section is more personal and specific, which helps, but the overall depth of analysis remains at a mid-level. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more sophisticated arguments that explore the long-term implications of this mindset, rather than just listing surface-level benefits and drawbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'To conclude' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and some cohesive devices are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as 'the think they have to achieve' or 'my parents always argues me.' The progression of ideas is logical, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is more precise throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'growing economies' and 'ambitious.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'take it up to their heads,' 'growth stop,' and 'argue me.' These errors occasionally impede the natural flow of the text. To improve, focus on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) and using more precise academic vocabulary rather than relying on direct translations or informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and word forms (e.g., 'teenagers thinking way,' 'I was remained always worried,' 'I could lost my focus'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like tense consistency and pluralization, which currently distract from the quality of your arguments.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.