Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays , different children have different way of thinking. Some children are so hardworking and taking things positively whereas some are so underconfident and stressed about their life.

Firstly , parents often told children that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. In parent's opinion , they are trying to push children to do hard work and take things positively but some children take it opposite of it. In addition ,this a advantage for children who really want to do something in life. Moreover , they start learning things in an early stage and feel confident in life. For example , if children start learning any kind of activity in early age and do hard work then it will increase child's courage and enthusiasm towards his/her work . But not only children , parents should also understand that there is a difference between encouraging and forcing . To add more, they should never force their children to do anything.

Moving forward , one question arrives in our mind that "Is there any disadvantages to it?". The answer is yes , every action have its own drawbacks . Furthermore , there are some children who take things in negative way . Even if their parents are encouraging them , they think that their parents are forcing them and giving pressure to do something. Adding more to it , children start feeling depressed . For example , if parents are saying to start a hobby so that their child can learn something . Some children will take it in bad way and will start feeling stressed which can even leads to suicides.

In conclusion , children should understand the intention of parents and parents should know how to deal with their child without making them feel stressed .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that children gain confidence and enthusiasm, the explanation remains quite general. Similarly, the discussion of disadvantages, such as the risk of stress or depression, is relevant but lacks depth. To improve, you should provide more specific examples or elaborate on the long-term psychological impact of these messages. The position is clear, but the overall structure could be more balanced to ensure that both sides of the argument are explored with equal weight and sophistication.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Moving forward' to link your points. However, some of these transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'take it opposite of it'. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between ideas is more explicitly stated to enhance the overall coherence of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'enthusiasm', 'depressed', and 'intention'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward word choice, such as 'take things in negative way' instead of 'perceive things negatively' or 'take it opposite of it'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise collocations and less common lexical items. The current vocabulary is sufficient for communication but lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher scores.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in early age' should be 'at an early age'), subject-verb agreement ('every action have' should be 'every action has'), and pluralization ('different way' should be 'different ways'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining your use of complex sentence structures will help improve your performance.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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