Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some culture, children are tolled that they can get anything if they try hard for that. I think it is good to give this message to children. But it is wrong somewhere to prepare children like that.

At first, its is a very good way to prepare children to face the hard time. If they are able to get anything what they want then there is no difficulty to live in any environment. If they know who to get that thing then they achieve it easily. To prepare children like this is not common in our soecity. Some people teach their children to make them able to get anything. If they know they get that thing they don't try to get it from others they work there on and get it with their on force. Some who are prepared like that they try to make their on thing they don't put eye on others. they work hard and show others to do like that. By this it can help the other people. They atreact others to do hard work in their life to make it easy.

Secondly, The children who trained like this that they can get anything by hard work. They try to do that things which are not suitable for them they bother them-selves in those thing which they have no use in there life. They do wrong things from that message. Some people are not aware from the result of that thing which they do.

To conclude, It is good to teach the children to work hard to make their on things. But some some bother their selves in wrong things which is not good.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, though the development of ideas is somewhat limited. You identify that the message encourages hard work and self-reliance, which is a relevant advantage. Regarding disadvantages, you mention that children might pursue unsuitable goals, which is a valid point. However, the explanation is often repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the discussion on 'doing wrong things' is vague and could be better supported with concrete examples. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a clear, well-explained point that directly answers the 'why' or 'how' of your argument, rather than restating the same idea in different words.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the flow of ideas is often disjointed. You use basic cohesive devices like 'At first' and 'Secondly', but the internal logic within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow due to repetitive phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, the sentence 'Some who are prepared like that they try to make their on thing' is confusing. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, which hinders the clarity of your argument. You frequently use basic words like 'get', 'thing', and 'do', which lack precision. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'tolled' instead of 'told', 'soecity' instead of 'society', and 'atreact' instead of 'attract'. Additionally, the phrase 'on force' and 'on thing' appear to be misspellings of 'own'. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your vocabulary to include more academic and precise terms, and pay closer attention to spelling and word choice to ensure your meaning is conveyed accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children are tolled'), incorrect word order, and misuse of articles and prepositions. For example, 'Some people are not aware from the result' should be 'aware of the result'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors makes the text feel unpolished. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and preposition usage, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for common errors like 'on' vs 'own' would also be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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