Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In the first place, I would disagree with the premise that „in some cultures” hardworking is instilled into children’s heads from the beginning of their lives. On the contrary, this message is very popular around the globe and, at first sight, may seem logical and correct. However, it contains many drawbacks that, theoretically, can negatively influence an individual’s future.

To start off, one has to emphasize the fact that failure is a natural part of learning, inasmuch as it helps to grow and move forward by using previously acquired experience. Therefore, children should be taught that it is entirely normal to make mistakes. To illustrate, according to scientific research, those who used to be exceptionally diligent students at school may feel inadequately frightened and perplexed when facing real-life problems owing to the fear of failure acquired at the young age. Moreover, these words inadvertently can create a huge pressure on children, leading to burnouts, stresses, and mental health issues, which, undoubtedly, will decrease a person’s working capacity. Additionally, adolescents more often than not require guidance in respect of understanding this and that; hence, simply telling them to try to work hard appears to be rather useless and might not be sufficient at all.

Nevertheless, this message can inspire children to set ambitious goals for themselves. Speaking objectively, one must contend that competition is one of the most dominant factors in world development. Therefore, non-competitive people and, consequently, non-sedulous people will not survive in the contemporary society. Believing in the possibility of achieving anything through hard work, however, may encourage young individuals to dream big, set targets, and achieve them. On top of that, believing in the power of hard work contributes to building children’s self-confidence, which is very helpful in establishing healthy relationships, pursuing one’s passions, and facing life obstacles. Also, self-confidence serves as a powerful motivator, fostering children to believe in their abilities and stand up to various challenges with a positive mindset.

In conclusion, while hard work is commonly linked to success, it appears to be a matter of importance to find a balance everywhere. Thus, parents and teachers should make sure that Children properly understand both of these perspectives: firstly, it is absolutely normal, acceptable and even beneficial to make mistakes; secondly, working hard indeed matters a lot in the modern competitive world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the message. Your position is clear from the introduction, and you provide relevant supporting arguments for both sides. The development of ideas is generally good, though the initial paragraph spends a bit too much time questioning the premise of the prompt rather than immediately engaging with the core task. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are consistently balanced and that the conclusion synthesizes the points effectively. The response is well-structured and directly answers the question asked.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'On the contrary', 'To start off', 'Moreover', and 'Nevertheless' to link your points effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The transition between the disadvantages and advantages is smooth. While the flow is generally natural, some of the linking phrases are slightly mechanical, but they do not impede the reader's understanding. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, including some sophisticated items like 'inadvertently', 'sedulous', 'contemporary society', and 'fostering'. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items, which is positive. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'hardworking is instilled' (should be 'the value of hard work') and 'this and that' (which is too informal for an academic essay). Despite these minor issues, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning with precision and flexibility throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. There is good control over punctuation and grammar, with many error-free sentences. You successfully employ complex structures like 'inasmuch as it helps to grow' and 'those who used to be exceptionally diligent'. While there are occasional slips—such as the unnecessary quotation marks around 'in some cultures' and the capitalization of 'Children' in the conclusion—these are rare and do not impede communication. Your control over complex forms is generally strong, supporting a high band score.

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