Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, there has been concern about parents often telling their children that they could achieve anything they want if they tried hard. In some cultures, the younger generation have often told them they could achieve anything if they tried hard and never give up on any situation. There are some advantages such as, keep them motivated and never give up on situation. In contrast, there are some disadvantages as well such as, unrealistic expectation and feel pressurized.

On the one hand, in some cultures it is a common practice that youngsters often told that they could achieve anything if they tried hard. Some parents motivate their children to work hard, which helps to keep going and never give up on any situation. Motivation helps students to overcome obstacles and develop a growth mindset. For instance, a child who struggle with math, if their parents encourage them to focus on their abilities and work hard. As a result, children feel confident and motivated.

However, this message may be leads to negatively interpret by youngsters, and they believe that anything can be achieved by hard work. Moreover, success also depends on several factors rather than only hard work, such as opportunities, luck and competition. May be some youngsters take it as a negative message and work hard and never succussed due to unavailability of opportunities and due to high competition. As a result, they feel pressurized and it creates unrealistic expectations.

In conclusion, motivating students to hard work contributes to both advantages and disadvantages. Advantages because it motivated student to work hard, whereas disadvantages because it leads to unrealistic expectations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why children feel pressurized is brief and lacks depth. The introduction is repetitive, and the conclusion merely restates the prompt without adding a final synthesis. To improve, you should aim to expand your supporting points with more specific examples or logical reasoning. While the position is clear, the overall development is basic, which limits the score to a 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'However', and 'As a result'. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'the younger generation have often told them', where the subject-verb relationship is confusing. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on repetitive phrases like 'achieve anything', 'work hard', and 'never give up'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'negatively interpret' instead of 'interpreted negatively' and 'never succussed' (a spelling error for 'succeeded'). To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary and demonstrate more flexibility in your word choice to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the younger generation have often told them' (incorrect passive voice), 'this message may be leads to' (incorrect verb form), and 'a child who struggle' (subject-verb agreement). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb tenses will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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